tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55663792024-03-16T18:50:40.581+00:00Aiee! Run From Kelvin's Brainsplurge!I'm Kelvin Green. I sometimes draw. I sometimes write. I'm trying to get better at both.thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.comBlogger1263125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-39013886092839606582024-03-11T17:00:00.002+00:002024-03-13T12:32:16.783+00:00REDBOX MUSCLE WIZARDMuscle Wizards are ace. Redbox Hack is ace. So here's a Muscle Wizard for Redbox Hack.
The Muscle Wizard was, I think, first birthed by Monstrous Television and then further developed and remixed by Basic Red, Ten Foot Polemic, and Goblin Punch.
Basically, I am very late to the party.
MUSCLE WIZARD
You are a wizard, but instead of learning magic through arcane study, your awesome power thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-33753956946720093832024-03-08T20:00:00.002+00:002024-03-08T21:41:08.277+00:00Roll Out!Look at this handsome lad!
This is the new "Missing Link" Optimus Prime. Or technically it's Missing Link Convoy as I seem to have the Japanese version, but whatever.
Anyway, he's quite special, or rather I think he's quite special, because he is something for which I've been asking for years.
The problem with almost every Optimus Prime toy -- that I know of, anyway -- is that they cheat withthekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-80384033275991423242024-03-04T17:00:00.003+00:002024-03-04T23:07:19.189+00:00Strict Location Records Must Be KeptI've had a handful of questions -- or rather what is more or less the same question restated in slightly different terms -- about my adventure Strict Time Records Must Be Kept. Before I try to answer it/them, I should explain the context.
In Strict Time Records Must Be Kept -- henceforth STRMBK -- the player-characters are dosed with a slow-acting poison and are given the task of finding an thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-53113161960188063932024-02-15T10:29:00.004+00:002024-02-15T11:46:54.496+00:00Fantastic! Fantastic?Yesterday, Marvel announced the cast of the upcoming(ish) Fantastic Four film, and the announcement was Valentine's Day themed because... Reed and Sue are a couple?
(I've heard that there was a leak imminent and Marvel wanted to get ahead of it.)
Anyway, I hope it will be good. A decent film adaptation has been a long time coming -- yes, I know, The Incredibles -- but part of me does wonder if thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-56519805943047263742024-02-09T12:51:00.003+00:002024-02-09T12:51:41.816+00:00Celebrate?I feel terrible posting this video, because of my crippling self-loathing, but I also realise it's good for my "brand", whatever that is. There's also a US sale going on, so:
I feel sick.thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-21062676687917777612024-01-26T10:00:00.001+00:002024-01-26T10:00:00.131+00:00The Principle of Cola Made FleshWhile I'm getting back up to fighting fitness, here's the original Pepsi logo:
Carbonated soft drink or Scandinavian black metal band? Only you can decide!thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-83219921181204449502024-01-25T19:55:00.004+00:002024-01-25T23:00:06.873+00:00Best LaidWell that didn't go according to plan, did it?
I was supposed to be finishing up [REDACTED] by now, but instead I've been bed-ridden for a month, with either one really weird ever-changing illness, or a sequence of ailments that have all run into each other like a Human Centipede.
I'm feeling mostly better now, and can actually get around under my own power, so maybe I'll be able to get back onthekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-155056201508719902024-01-04T22:53:00.002+00:002024-01-05T11:21:35.710+00:00Checklist 2024Right then, with that said, what creative projects am I planning to get done in 2024? This list exists as much to keep me honest as anything.
Maps for [REDACTED]. This is my January job. Once this is out of the way, I can work on the other stuff.
The Gargantuan Ovum of Sir William Hatcher, an egg-cellent adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. I'm hoping for a March publication for thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-11383208424107602492024-01-01T13:40:00.001+00:002024-01-01T13:40:13.127+00:00Masterplan 2024I would have posted this earlier but I noticed that I had 69 posts in 2023, and I am a child.
Well, 2023 was a bit of a crapper. Indulge me as I moan about why, or just click here to skip to the optimistic bit.
I have had a day job since February in which I don't know how to do anything, and there's no one to train me in how to do those things, which ends up being massively demoralising every thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-14154690660124633432023-12-25T00:01:00.001+00:002023-12-25T00:01:00.135+00:00See You on the Other Side, Meatbags!thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-21508916531490016572023-12-24T11:01:00.006+00:002023-12-24T11:01:53.372+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: Infinity FoodsSurprise #MincePieFest2023 update!
It's not Christmas without an Infinity Foods mince pie!
Firm but not crunchy pastry, with a lovely hint of sweetness, and a very rich, almost umami, tasty filling full of fruit and maybe a little twist of booze? #Vegan too, if that matters to you. I'm going to minus 1 because you need a small mortgage to get them, but I'll add 1 because I was early enough thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-35919534406136480512023-12-17T22:06:00.000+00:002023-12-17T22:06:07.964+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: The Bastard KiplingOh, look who finally turned up, the Bastard Kipling himself.
These are big, chunky pies, with a nice firm pastry. Alas that same pastry is chalky and dry, and tastes mainly of nothing. The filling too is oddly tasteless, like it's made of teeny packing peanuts. The edible sort, obviously, that are basically unflavoured Wotsits. Don't try to eat the other ones, because they will do your thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-69605108667202544782023-12-15T15:43:00.001+00:002023-12-15T15:43:22.428+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: The Results!I was going to do the final #MincePieFest2023 rankings today but then my good friend Casey reminded me that I hadn't done The Bastard Kipling yet BUT THEN I went out today and couldn't find The Bastard Kipling anywhere so we are back to the original plan.
So then, my top three mince pies of 2023 are:
#3 - Aldi Holly Lane and Asda Yummy, both good pies with 3.5 out of 5. Good effort and thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-34495328908301320702023-12-13T23:00:00.001+00:002023-12-13T23:00:00.134+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: M&S CollectionThese ARE the fancy ones, a pound more expensive, and... not as good.
The pastry is firm but a bit bland, and while there's plenty of tasty, hearty filling, it doesn't "zing". Well, no, it does in fact zing because the citrus overpowers everything else. Apparently these have Cognac in them, but I can't taste it past the overwhelming clementines.
(Great name for a band that. Probably early thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-89311410529309294142023-12-13T21:17:00.004+00:002023-12-13T21:17:50.874+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: M&S Classic
These pies look a bit dry and anaemic, but this is clearly just clever misdirection as they are quite lovely! The pastry is a bit bland but has a good texture, just the right side of soft.
That filling though, my gosh. Rich, fruity, and packed full of (non boozy) flavour, all balanced, never overwhelming, and there's plenty of it. What a lovely surprise. 4 out of 5 and these aren't even the thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-46095207515065207312023-12-12T23:35:00.000+00:002023-12-12T23:35:16.267+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: Morrisons the "Best"I like the look of these pies.
They have a rough, home made, look to them and I'm fond of the semi-open star design. But how do they taste, I hear you type?
(I can't hear you type.)
Pretty ruddy good! The firmish pastry is just the right level of not-too-sweet, and while the filling starts off fruity but maybe a bit bland, in comes a big boozy wave of brandy and cider. It's only a slightlythekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-64129367191612303902023-12-12T23:31:00.000+00:002023-12-12T23:31:07.575+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: Morrisons
In terms of texture, the disintegrating pastry on these is similar to that of the Waitrose Essential pies, although unlike those it does have a pleasant, understated, sweet taste.
Which is good because the "rich and fruity" filling is so anonymous that I only confirmed it existed at all when I took the third picture. Highly dubious pies, these. 2 out of 5, and that feels a little generous. #thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-31565458615864262822023-12-11T23:57:00.006+00:002023-12-12T00:08:03.686+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: Lidl DeluxeLidl Deluxe!
These have a firm (but not too firm!) pastry that's sweet (but not too sweet!) and a bit buttery (but not too buttery!). The filling has a strong citrus flavour but any potential bitterness is offset by a robust (but not too robust!) brandy hit. Not quite to my tastes, but not bad at all. 3 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADaythekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-37699023115664335392023-12-11T23:56:00.005+00:002023-12-12T00:06:33.561+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: Favorina (Lidl)Favorina, or Lidl in Disguise. That's a lot of sugar!
Another too soft pie, with almost a fluffy consistency, and far too sweet. There are plenty of strong flavours in the filling, but they tend towards the tangy citrus, giving the whole pie a bit of a sickly taste. The two combine to make a gummy and stodgy pie. Not great. 2 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADaythekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-18732665846104595982023-12-10T20:00:00.001+00:002023-12-10T20:00:00.126+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: WaitroseIt's a double posh day today!
The pastry is very firm, to the point of being crunchy, like a hard biscuit or a dense shortbread. It also has a strong buttery taste -- again like shortbread -- which is not to my liking, but I suspect I may be in the minority there. And to be fair, it does say "all butter" on the box.
You can see how firm it is by the sharp edges on the patterns in the thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-40113617072460294992023-12-10T14:28:00.001+00:002023-12-10T14:28:43.928+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: Waitrose EssentialWaitrose! Let's see how the poshos get on.
I like a soft pastry for my mince pies but this is far too soft, even for me. The pie falls apart as it's being eaten and there's a chalky, powdery texture that is a bit... icky. These are pies that may be better left out for a day or two to go a bit stale and firm up.
Given the dodgy pastry it's a bit of a surprise then that the filling is quite thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-49027214502478296392023-12-08T22:19:00.001+00:002023-12-08T22:19:53.166+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: "Holly Lane" (Aldi)Holly Lane! Which doesn't exist, because it's Aldi.
The pastry has a lovely soft crumble with a pleasant sweetness, but is a little undermined by too much crunchy granulated sugar on the top, and a tendency to get a bit claggy. You'll want a cup of tea -- or local alternative -- with this one. The filling is chunky and tasty, full of fruity flavours and a satisfying wave of spice. There are thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-23408390554927230582023-12-07T14:13:00.002+00:002023-12-07T14:13:17.409+00:00Not ShitThere's yet another kind review of my work from John Arendt here, this time of the recent(ish) Winnie-the-Shit.
You can buy the book in print from the EU shop here, the US shop here, or in pdf form here.
If you are unfortunate enough to be in the shattered remains of the UK and you order from the EU shop, you will get free postage up to the 10th of December 2023. That's on all books, I believe,thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-48855362949770795822023-12-04T10:22:00.000+00:002023-12-04T10:22:09.795+00:00Mince Pie Fest 2023: COOP IrresistibleI must admit, I was a bit worried about trying these. They were the clear winners in 2021 and 2022, but everything seems worse this year, and what if my favourites also followed that trend?
Worry not, my mincing mates!
The pastry is a perfect balance between firm and soft, with a nice crumble that stops well short of an unpleasant crunch. It is sweet without being overly sugary, and has a thekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566379.post-89636738100871776182023-12-03T11:13:00.005+00:002024-03-05T16:06:43.119+00:00Imperial Phase
I have the new Epic 2023 box and although I haven't played it yet -- ye gods, teeny tiny multi-part miniatures! How am I supposed to put those together at my age?! -- I have impressions of the first variety.
In terms of rules, it is pretty much second edition Space Marine/Titan Legions, which is good, as Space Marine 2 is the best wargame Games Workshop ever made. Fact.
Titans are simplified. Ithekelvingreenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01928260185408072124noreply@blogger.com0