Aiee! Run From Kelvin's Brainsplurge!

Well, I say "results", but I will continue to eat mince pies well into 2022, and I will provide scores for anything new I devour o...

Straight outta Reykjavík! The 24th (!) mince pie of the season is a strong late entry. The pastry is a tiny bit on the crunchy side for...

What's posher than Waitrose? HESTON from Waitrose, that's what. At least these don't have ocelot spleens or something in them....

I was sure I'd already done these this year, but it seems not. The filling is lovely and fruity, with a tangy citrus flavour and a ...

These are bonkers. A chaotic cacophony of (very sweet) flavours, I've eaten a whole pack and I'm still not sure if I like them....

More Pies For Poshos™ except these are for slightly less posh poshos than yesterday's posh pies . Alas, the contempt for the slight...

Recommended by The Guardian -- quelle surprise -- these are big, chunky, and heavy pies that look impressive. They have a satisfying, h...

A festive double header from the high street coffee shop everyone forgets about! This is the fancy one. Softish pastry with a bit of bi...

Irresistible, eh? We'll see about that. Oh. Okay. Fair play, COOP. 5 out of 5 . Everyone go home. I should probably do an actual...

You have to admire the stark, utilitarian messaging there. THESE ARE MINCE PIES. FROM THE COOP. THAT IS ALL. The pastry has a nice, c...

These are my brother's favourites for 2021 ( edit: it's the cheaper ones he likes, apparently) but I've found them to be poor ...

These were bland and dry and "gah" but I had a cold when I had the first two, so my sense of taste was probably wonky. I feel ...

I found these hidden in the corner of a bottom shelf of the bakery section at Sainsbos, almost as if they were ashamed. It seems that ...

I know, I know, but it is my duty to suffer. The pastry is awful. I'm not sure it even is pastry. It feels more like some sort of ...

I quite like rum, so I was looking forward to these. They look good -- I love that lattice pattern -- and the pastry is nice. Crumbly,...