Mince Pie Fest 2024: Jack's

DID YOU THINK IT WAS OVER?

It's not over!

We found these in a corner shop, but most corner shops are part of a chain these days, and this chain is basically Tesco-in-Disguise, so you should be able to find these across the UK. But would you want to? Read on, MacDuff.

The texture of the pastry is all wrong. It's too thin, too crispy, and too sweet, buuuuuuuut it tastes quite nice, like a (very) sweet biscuit. The flavour does rather overpower the filling, about which I can say nothing because I couldn't taste it at all. The only reason I know it exists is because I took a picture.

Not bad, but they don't really taste like mince pies. 2 as mince pies, 3 as a general sweet treat, so let's say 2.5 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

An Overdue Apology

First of all, I am not being compelled or forced to do this, at least not by any external agent. This is all about acknowledging my mistake.

When the allegations about Mandy and Zak first arose, I very quickly jumped on Google+ and made a vague and non-committal statement along the lines of "I was fooled and I am sorry." I don't remember the exact words, but maybe it's been screenshotted somewhere. That's the gist of it, anyway.

When challenged to specify what I meant, I prevaricated and said something like "I said what I said", and left it at that.

Looking back, I was trying to have it both ways, to signal my expected outrage while avoiding taking a side, at least overtly. More, in truth it was never really about showing support for Mandy, but rather to be seen to be on the "right" side. It was bandwagon-jumping, and I expect better of myself than that.

It was cowardly and wrong.

I always try to be fair and kind in life, and this was neither. And for that, I am sorry.

Mince Pie Fest 2024: The Battle of Fours

Unprecedented!

We have a tie at the top*, which has never happened before.

So, for the first time ever, we enter a SECOND ROUND.

The "finalists": COOP Irresistible, Holly Lane, Tesco Merry, Tesco Finest, and Waitrose Un-Numbered.

Because I love you, my readers, and because I am dedicated to this, my job, I made the difficult decision to try all five of the Fours again, in one tasting session, to decide once and for all.

(If you want to reward me for this terribly onerous task, then my Ko-Fi is still available.)

I took this very seriously and tried each pie, then had a good swig of plain water to cleanse my palate before trying the next. It came down to two front runners, so I tried those two again, which means that I've basically just had an 800+ calorie lunch.

Anyway.

The second-best 4 out of 5 pie is...

Holly Lane! These are still surprisingly good for such a cheap mince pie. Well done, Aldi.

And the best?

COOP Irresistible!

It's still very close, but COOP just edges it this year, and I suspect it will not be beaten, but one never knows for sure... #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

*(There is at least one supermarket mince pie I haven't yet tried, so maybe this will all be irrelevant.)

Mince Pie Fest 2024: COOP Irresistible

Well. Here we go. The champions of 2021.

The champions of 2022.

The champions of 2023.

The champions of 2024?

The pastry strikes the perfect balance between firm and soft, with just the right amount of "chew", but the taste is maybe just a bit too buttery? The filling is lovely. Fruity, dense, and with a hint of booze, but nothing too overpowering. Just enough to feel a bit cheeky.

These are good mince pies. Very very good mince pies. BUT.

(Gasp! Gosh! Etc!)

As good as they are, they are not the clear winners they have been in previous years. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

But what could this mean? Hmm...

Mince Pie Fest 2024: COOP Merry

Merry.

The Tesco ones were called "merry" too. I wonder if that's an established nomenclature and I've just not been paying attention. Imagine the scandal.

Anyway.

The pastry on these is bland, far too soft, and quite claggy. The filling has a nice, juicy flavour but there's not a lot of it. There's nothing really actively bad about these but they are just quite disappointing. 2 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Lidl Deluxe

These chunky pies have a pastry that's a touch too firm for me, tipping over into a biscuity crunch, of which I am not fond. The filling is much better, with a nice fruity taste and a big punch of brandy. Pow! Alas, there's a hint of a bitter, dare I say bilious, aftertaste that does pass very quickly, but is still something of an unpleasant surprise. 2 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Waitrose (Un-Numbered)

The pastry has a bit of a salty taste, and I'm not a fan of salt, but otherwise it has a decent flavour and a good, firm, texture.

The filling is beautiful! While it lacks any sort of booze, and is even quite light on the spices, neither is missed, as there's a lovely variety of different fruit flavours.

You could quibble that with the lack of alcohol and spice maybe these are more of a mixed fruit pie than a mince pie proper, but whatever they are, they are very tasty. Much better than the fancier ones. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

PoP!

I have drawn three pieces today, and this -- with no hint of irony or self-deprecation -- is the best of them all.

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Waitrose No 1

These often get picked as the best supermarket mince pies by the gutter press, so let's see. The pastry has a good texture, firm but also soft, but is maybe a touch too sweet. There's plenty of filling and it's... full of flavour. The only issue, and I don't quite believe I'm going to say this, is that there's too much flavour. The cognac is overpowering to the point of tasting almost toxic, but perhaps I just don't like cognac. Not bad, but not "number one", and not worth £4. 3 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: M&S Collection

I do not like the pastry on these mince pies at all. AT ALL. Crunchy and far too sugary (which doesn't help with the crunch), I suppose at least it's not too dry. But it's not pleasant, either. The filling is much better, with a strong fruity flavour and a good mix of spices, and there is plenty of it. There's just a touch of a bitter aftertaste, but nothing too egregious.

M&S seems to be having a real problem with its pastry this year, and it almost ruins these pies, but the filling is just about good enough to drag them up to a 3 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024