Imaginary Horse

In 2015 Warhammer: Age of Sigmar was created. This had made some people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Well, not "widely" as it's turned out to be a bit of a success for Games Workshop, more so than Warhammer Fantasy Battle was before it was scrapped, and is now on its fourth edition. I've still never played it, mind.

One thing that hasn't survived the years is the meta rules, suggesting that they weren't quite as popular as the rest of the game. Stuff like:

• And He Did Say ‘War’, and the World Did Tremble...: If Settra the Imperishable uses this ability, you must hold out your hand and utter ‘War’ in a supremely commanding tone. If you do, then until your next hero phase you can add 1 to all hit rolls for Death units in your army that are within 18" of Settra in the combat phase. If a Deathrattle unit is affected by this ability, you can also add 1 to their wound rolls in the combat phase. However, if Settra is your general, you must not kneel for any reason during the battle. If you do, even once, you immediately lose the battle. Settra does not kneel!
• The Grail Vow: You can re-roll all failed hit rolls for this unit if, before rolling the dice, you hold aloft a grail or goblet and shout ‘For the Lady’ in a heroic voice.
• Honour of the Clan: It is a Thane’s duty to uphold the honour of his clan, and his fighting prowess is as deadly as his beard is magnificent. You can re-roll any failed hit rolls when attacking with a Thane so long as you have a bigger and more impressive beard than your opponent.
• Liquid Fortification: You can add 1 to the Bravery of Josef Bugman and any Dispossessed unit from your army within 4" of him whilst you are holding a drink.
• The Mad Count: Marius Leitdorf is an exceptional swordsman, even if he is totally insane. If, during your hero phase, you pretend to ride an imaginary horse, you can re-roll failed hit rolls for the Averland Runefang until your next hero phase. If you actually talk to your imaginary horse you can re-roll failed wound rolls as well.
• Old Grumblers: In your hero phase, you can complain about something in a suitably Dwarfish manner. For example, the hardships you endured when you were younger, how the youth of today don’t respect their elders, how expensive beer is etc. If you do, this unit of Longbeards will join in and you can pick one of the grumblings listed below. The effects last until your next hero phase.
• WAAAGH! DRUMMER Models in this unit may be Waaagh! Drummers. You can add 2 to the charge rolls of a unit that includes any Waaagh! Drummers, but only if you bellow ‘Waaagh!’ when rolling the dice.

The one about the imaginary horse is maaaaaayyyybe insensitive to those with mental health problems, but otherwise I don't see the problem. I've always liked these rules, because they are fun, and games are supposed to be fun. Aren't they?

Walkin' Here!

Kev Walker, 1991:

Kev Walker, 1997:

Kev Walker, 2000:

Kev Walker, 2001:

(This is the sequel to the 1997 series above.)

Kev Walker. 2023:

So many styles, all good.

You Listen to Me More, You Live Longer!

This is your semi-regular reminder that Temple of Doom is the best one.

#TempleOfDoomIsTheBestOne

Hungry Ghost

Hungry ghost. I've just read Bat Eater by Kylie Lee Baker. It's quite good!
#KelvinDrawsThings

Blanchitsu! (bless you)

John Blanche died.

I first encountered him in Steve Jackson's Sorcery! books.

Now that's a wizard!

His art had the rubbery weirdness of someone like Erol Otus, but went beyond with a sort of feverish decadence, and a (un)healthy gob of punk. You could feel Blanche's work crawl and writhe, and probably spit, too.

Much will be written in the next few days about Blanche and his art by better writers than I, so here's a personal story instead.

I fell into the Games Workshop Hobby™ hard when I was about nine or ten, but lacking access to more than HeroQuest and White Dwarf, my engagement consisted mostly of drawing a lot of orcs and orks. For some mad reason, when I was eleven I decided to send some of those pictures in to White Dwarf. I have no idea what I was expecting. Such hubris!

They were not good pictures -- I was eleven! -- but a few days later I got a postcard with this painting on it:

And on the back, a message from John Blanche. Not much, just a few words of vague encouragement. Did he mean it? Who knows? But it meant a lot to me then -- and still does -- that he took the time to do that for an eleven year old fan.

Thanks John.

Where Did All the Blue Sky Go?

Mercy Point, a 1998 TV series about a 23rd century space hospital:

Mercy Heights, a 1997 story in 2000AD about a 23rd century space hospital:

Hm.

'Ello, Dar

It's only taken since 2014, when dipping was the trendy painting technique, but I have finished my Eldar army for Warhammer 40,000.

Behold the forces of Craftworld Ad-Hoc!

These miniatures are all from the first two editions, aside from a couple of characters, and the Exodites. More on them later.

The "command squad". The second character is a Spiritseer from around 2013, and you'll have seen him as Fateweaver Duu'ey in my Stargrave reports. The two on the right came to me painted so I need to go back and bring them in line with the rest of the army, but it feels a bit of a shame to ruin the one in black.

Scouts, as they were back then, Rangers now. The big lad is from fourth edition, I believe.

There are six of these ladies in the army, but for some reason I only got five of them out for the photo op. Photo oops more like!

Two lots of Striking Scorpions. A special Brainsplurge No-Prize for anyone who identifies the colour scheme inspiration, if you can even see it with this poor lighting.

Exodites! Space elves on dinosaurs! Only legal in second edition -- the best edition -- but they never got models. These are Dark Elf Cold One Knights kitbashed with an old Storm Guardian close combat sprue, and the only models bought new from an actual shop. Not the most elaborate of conversions, but good enough.

Dark Reapers, the very first miniatures I painted for this army, and if I'm going to repaint anything, it'll be these lads.

And finally, a classic spread-eagled pilot War Walker, and a couple of Dreadnoughts, including one with the funny tiny head. Since it has a missile launcher I decided to paint it like a Dark Reaper, to suggest that it used to be a Reaper in life. These are very heavy and very spindly so will likely shatter if ever dropped.

So that's it, 12 years of collecting and painting, 76 miniatures, all done.

Well...

I should probably repaint the Dark Reapers, and the two Warlocks, and I have a couple of odd character models that never got rules. I also have a couple of "holy grails" that I'd like to get, but for now, we are done.

I've loved the Eldar ever since seeing them in an early White Dwarf -- on hexagonal bases, hence my "basing scheme" -- and while these are a million miles away from 'Eavy Metal standard, I'm happy enough with them.

No Strings On Me

Angry robot fella Scourge, from 2023's Transformers 7: Let There Be Gorillas:

Angry robot fella Ultron, from 2015's Avengers 2: Avenge Harder:

Hm.

Fictions, Scientific

People are listing their top ten science fiction films to "celebrate" Star Wars Day. I "celebrated" Star Wars Day in my own way yesterday, but here's my list anyway. I'm discounting superhero films in general, although some of them certainly count as science fiction; I was very close to just sticking Guardians of the Galaxy and its sequel in anyway. Ghostbusters also was very close to making it in, as while it is about ghosts (spoiler) the film approaches it through science, or at least pseudoscience.

It was very difficult to pick just ten, but here they are:

• Akira
• Aliens
• Back to the Future
• Godzilla Minus One
• Lilo & Stitch
• Mad Max 4
• Robocop
• Star Trek 4
• Terminator 2
• Transformers: The Movie

Ask me again tomrrow and I'd probably have a different list. I could have put at least two more Mad Max films in there, or Ghost in the Shell, or The Thing, or Timecrimes, or...

#MayThe4thBeWithYou

Happy #StarWarsDay everyone!

#MayThe4thBeWithYou