Aiee! Run From Kelvin's Brainsplurge!

Surprise #MincePieFest2023 update! It's not Christmas without an Infinity Foods mince pie! Firm but not crunchy pastry, with a ...

Oh, look who finally turned up, the Bastard Kipling himself. These are big, chunky pies, with a nice firm pastry. Alas that same pastr...

I was going to do the final #MincePieFest2023 rankings today but then my good friend Casey reminded me that I hadn't done The Bastard Ki...

These ARE the fancy ones, a pound more expensive, and... not as good. The pastry is firm but a bit bland, and while there's plenty...

These pies look a bit dry and anaemic, but this is clearly just clever misdirection as they are quite lovely! The pastry is a bit bland ...

I like the look of these pies. They have a rough, home made, look to them and I'm fond of the semi-open star design. But how do th...

In terms of texture, the disintegrating pastry on these is similar to that of the Waitrose Essential pies , although unlike those it doe...

Lidl Deluxe! These have a firm (but not too firm!) pastry that's sweet (but not too sweet!) and a bit buttery (but not too buttery...

Favorina, or Lidl in Disguise. That's a lot of sugar! Another too soft pie, with almost a fluffy consistency, and far too sweet. T...

It's a double posh day today! The pastry is very firm, to the point of being crunchy, like a hard biscuit or a dense shortbread. It...

Waitrose! Let's see how the poshos get on. I like a soft pastry for my mince pies but this is far too soft, even for me. The pie f...

Holly Lane! Which doesn't exist, because it's Aldi. The pastry has a lovely soft crumble with a pleasant sweetness, but is a l...

I must admit, I was a bit worried about trying these. They were the clear winners in 2021 and 2022 , but everything seems worse this year, ...

Well, this is awkward. Last year these pies were among the best , scoring an admirable 4 out of 5 , but something terrible has happen...

These are T, tasty (ish). These are E, (not) expensive. These are S, (on the) small side. These are C, Christmassy-y. These are O, ooooo...

These came from Iceland -- the shop not the lava-imperilled country -- although you wouldn't know it from the stark Repo Man branding. ...