I Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

Our monitor blew, so we've been without internet access for a week. It was actually quite a nice change of pace, and I got some long-overdue work done.

More later.

It Lies!

Look, I understand that the new Harry Potter is a big deal for you, but Amazon, please don't bring it up as a search result when in fact I was searching for the Doctor Who novel Lungbarrow. Also, I have never searched for the book, so it shouldn't be in my "recently viewed items" folder either. I don't care! I don't like the books! Leave me alone!

It strikes be as bafflingly desperate. Baffling because the book will sell shedloads anyway, even without such "promotion", and desperate because of the sneaky and insiduous way it's handled, making it look like they're worried that they're not going to sell a single copy. Like the insiduous AOL and Microsoft instant messengers, which you can't actually delete from your computer once you've got them, this just makes me want to flee from modern "civilisation" and hide somewhere remote until the inevitable apocalypse has passed.

Broken Chair, Needs Fixing

John Carpenter has made a handful of excellent films, a few interesting but flawed films, and quite a number of train wreck equivalents. So why do the studios think that it's a good idea to remake the good ones?
I mean, do we really need a new Assault on Precinct 13 or a new Fog, when there are Carpenter movies out there that have interesting elements that failed to rise above slightly shoddy filmmaking?
Pah. Remakes are stinky arse.

With not a whiff of irony...

From yesterday's paper:

If you'd like to print off a copy so you can have a go yourself (and why wouldn't you?), there's a pretty large 300dpi version here.
I should probably point out that this came from the children's section of the paper, and as such isn't indicative of the state of US journalism, although it's really not far off...

The Big Questions...

Which of the following seems more right to you?

"I built a house out of Lego"
or
"I built a house out of Legos"

Meg uses the latter. I've always used the former. Is it a regional thing?

They Live Among Us!

It's our anniversary today (well, one of our anniversaries, but it's a long story...). I'd like to say that it's been a marriage without disagreement or strife, but that would be a lie. Case in point:
Meg adores this lamp. She loves it. However, I find it to be chilling and disturbing, and I'm pretty sure that it's some kind of alien vampire that stands motionless, mantis-like, awaiting a chance to reach down and pierce my skull, hoping to then siphon up my quivering brain jelly.

Definitely not dead...

I hope everyone had a good Chrimbo. Not much to report from this end of things, hence the lack of recent updates. That is all. :)

But, wasn't he born in July or something?

Happy Christmas everybody. Be good, be safe, be happy.

What this film needs is...

The Flight Of The Phoenix is a film about survival, cooperation and ingenuity starring Jimmy Stewart and Richard Attenborough.
The Flight Of The Phoenix is a film about explosions, starring a bunch of machinegun-wielding blokes on motorbikes.

So, the challenge is this: name another classic film which really could do with more machinegun-wielding blokes on motorbikes. My vote is for The Wizard Of Oz. Now that's a movie desperately in need of some Mad Max type action! Vroom!

That'll Do Pig...That'll Do.

We were rubbish last year. We failed to get presents off in time, and completely ballsed up on the Christmas cards, getting only a handful out. We've done a lot better this time around. All the presents have been bought, and those that needed to be sent have been. About 98% of the cards are in the "capable" hands of the US Postal Service or are already where they should be. So, it's looking good for a stress-free Christmas.

Which means it's probably time for Emperor Bush The Second to bomb something.

To get you in the proper Christmassy mood, here's a lovely festive story for all my friends:

It is three thousand light years to the Vatican. Once, I believed that space could have no power over faith, just as I believed that the heavens declared the glory of God's handiwork. Now I have seen that handiwork, and my faith is sorely troubled. I stare at the crucifix that hangs on the cabin wall above the Mark VI Computer, and for the first time in my life I wonder if it is no more than an empty symbol.

I have told no one yet, but the truth cannot be concealed. The facts are there for all to read, recorded on the countless miles of magnetic tape and the thousands of photographs we are carrying back to Earth. Other scientists can interpret them as easily as I can, and I am not one who would condone that tampering with the truth which often gave my order a bad name in the olden days.

Read the rest of the story (don't worry, it's a short one) here. And because there's been a certain amount of confusion over these things in the past, I want to make it clear that I didn't write this story. Okay.