Terror in the Special Offers

I haven't watched this yet, so I hope it's favourable.


"The special offer: Buy the Terror in the Streets boxed set from the EU webstore, get free shipping on the whole order with the coupon code MOON. Offer valid through May 7 (ends when I wake up on the 8th and remember to deactivate the code)."

Buy My Stuff! If You Want!

If you want to support my "creative" endeavours you can do so here!

ART AND WRITING COMMISSIONS | ROLE-PLAYING GAMES | MERCH

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Art and Writing Commissions:

A full page piece of art like this will cost £50 (GBP):

Larger or more complicated pictures, or with extra processing such as colouring or lettering, will likely cost more. Smaller or simpler pieces will of course cost less. Contact me for details.

(I do sometimes offer the original art for sale. Again the price will vary depending on the status of the original piece, so contact me for specifics.)

You can see (many) more examples of my art here.

I draw maps too! A full page map like this will cost £75 (GBP):

I also write (see below)! I don't have a specific page or word rate for writing, but I'm always happy to discuss projects and can give you a quote based on the scope of the work. Let me know!

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Role-Playing Games:

Adventure Anthology: Blood: I didn't write this compilation of classic Lamentations of the Flame Princess adventures, but I did draw over 250 new pictures for it! [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

BEE-WARE!: Non-hostile werewolves just want to be left alone to run their brewing business, except they are werebees. Possibly the highest/worst pun density of all of my books. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

The Curious Conundrum of the Conflagrated Condottiero: My attempt to emulate a trashy 80's slasher film in the role-playing game format. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

"This is good. At 20 pages, it strikes a solid balance between substance, procedure and atmosphere. It’s a simple premise, with sufficient elaboration to allow for multiple ways for the scenario to unfold and it does not outstay its welcome. [...] It is a real game, with gameplay, a reason to interact with the town, thought and charm being put into its limited cast of characters. I don’t think this will blow anyone’s mind but its a well-crafted, reasonably tight execution of a horror movie trope, with options for variation and permutation." - Age of Dusk.

The Expiration of Barrington Peake: A (sort of) one page (sort of) dungeon. Pay what you want! [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

Fish F**kers: Fish people and the awful humans that exploit them. Doing my bit to undo Lovecraft's icky legacy. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

Green Messiah: The Colour Out of Space, except it's also Superman's origin, plus a bit of Swamp Thing and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

"Well written, well presented, Green Messiah is one of the more engaging releases from Lamentations of the Flame Princess for quite some time. Not a little ridiculous, Green Messiah is an entertaining and fun scenario." - Reviews from R'lyeh.

Magic Eater: I tried to write an adventure about taking on a mundane gang of bandits, except I added a weird cult and a superpowered glutton. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

"While I could (and will) kvetch that there is room for improvement in how the defenders are organized, this is at its core, a solid f*****g adventure, with a delightfully puerile Lotfp twist at the end. Open-ended, varied and challenging, that’s what we like to see." - Age of Dusk.

Midvinter: It's, um, mid winter in seventeenth century Sweden, and the players are invited to a special celebration. Vaguely inspired by the film Midsommar, but not a lot like it, because I hadn't seen it at the time. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

More Than Meets the Eye: The players stumble into a conflict between rival factions of mimics. A very short adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

The Seed: Psychic Doomsday Cultists Semi-Accidentally Summoned an Alien Machine That Is Eating the World and Shitting Out a New One! As "featured" in The New Yorker, my contribution to the Manifestus Omnivorous project. More or less systemless, but easy enough to run with the role-playing game of your choice. [pdf]

Strict Time Records Must Be Kept: The player-characters are poisoned and dropped into a house full of tricks and traps to try and find the antidote before they die a messy death. Zero attempt at realism, maximum effort at fun. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

Strict Time Records Must Be Kept is quite good, exudes a sense of menacing fun, strikes a balance between spectacle and gameplay and contains ample handholds that render the whole easier to play. [...] If you are trying to be Not Your Grandfather’s DnD, you must illustrate what Not Your Grandfather’s DnD is about, and STRMBK does so with confidence, gusto, and charming malevolence." - Age of Dusk.

Terror in the Streets: You can't do murder mystery adventures in D&D, apparently! Well, no one told me. Children are going missing in Paris in 1630; can your players solve the mystery against a backdrop of political and religious unrest, and the machinations of Cardinal Richelieu? For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

"Let there be no doubt that Terror in the Streets is a work of profound genius and skill." - Reviews from R'lyeh.
"Terror in the Streets is a well written, well presented scenario that is probably a lot of fun to play. I can think of no better compliment." - Grognardia.

BIG Terror in the Streets: As above, but in a big cardboard box with a map, handouts, paper miniatures, a special d6, and a supplementary book of adventures, Huguenauts and Other Distractions. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf - Huguenauts] [box - Europe] [box - North America]

Winnie-the-Shit: A blatant cash-in on the source material's entry into the public domain, mashed up with Animal Farm -- not that one -- and The Island of Doctor Moreau for a mini wilderness crawl. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess and similar old-school role-playing games. [pdf] [dead tree - Europe] [dead tree - North America]

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Merch:

I have a selection of clothes, stickers, and the like for sale at both RedBubble and Threadless. I think I get a tiny bit more of the proceeds from the Threadless stuff, but there is a wider variety of items at RedBubble. The choice is yours!

Boobs and Dragons, 1984 Style

Dragonlance was 40 years old in March and I missed it!

But it's never too late to celebrate...

You can get the design on t-shirts (and some other bits) here or here.

(I get a little bit extra from each sale from the latter site.)

We'll Burn All the Negatives

Some of my books are on sale!

BREAKING LOTFP EU WEBSTORE NEWS:

* NEW SHIPPING METHOD!

* 25 % OFF SALE ON BOOKLETS + SOFTCOVERS

* JUST SEVEN COPIES OF MIDVINTER LEFT

LotFP EU Webstore: https://www.lotfp.com/store/

We've got the Global Mail option on the EU webstore up and running, which will result in much cheaper shipping rates for a lot of customers on lighter (under 1kg or especially under 500g) shipments.

To encourage you to try out this new shipping option, we are offering 25% off all of the booklets and softcovers in the EU webstore. Use coupon code SOFTIES on checkout. The titles included: Beware the Mindfuck!, Black Chamber, Curious Conundrum, Curse of the Daughterbrides, Do Not Accept This Quest, Forgive Us, A Gift For All of Norway, Green Devil Face #7, Idea from Space, Jovian Visitor, Just a Stupid Dungeon, Obisidian Anti-Pharos, and the Random Esoteric Creature Generator. Sale ends Tuesday morning when I wake up and remember to turn off the coupon code.

And we have just seven Midvinter copies left in the ol' Finland warehouse. There are a couple dozen still sitting around in overseas warehouses for future conventions, but if you want to order online these are the last copies from us. Midvinter is one of the most unhinged and disturbing folk horror adventures ever in RPGs, all the more effective because it presents itself in good cheer and not as a nightmare. It is a masterpiece.

So that's FORGIVE US and CURIOUS CONUNDRUM OF THE CONFLAGRATED CONDOTTIERO on sale, and MIDVINTER not on sale, but quickly becoming a collectable. Probably. Ish.

(Five copies left as I type this.)

I haven't left much time for you to take advantage of the sale, for which I'm sorry.

And now, a banger:

The Cleverest Amphibian of Them All

If you like purple-clad turtle tech geniuses as much as I do, then there is a new design in my merchandise shops:

You can get the design on some bits and pieces like notebooks, stickers, and so on here, or on clothing (and some other bits) here.

(I get a little bit extra from each sale from the latter site.)

Fight Ongoing

After what seems like ages* Fight On! magazine returns with issue #15!

I've got a couple of pictures in there, plus a comic strip with Jonathan Linneman. Fight On! is where I started in rpg art and writing, so it's good to see it return. Let's hope #16 isn't too far away.

You can get Fight On! #15 in pdf here and print here.

*(That's because it has been ages! I think #14 came out in 2014!)

Celebrate?

I feel terrible posting this video, because of my crippling self-loathing, but I also realise it's good for my "brand", whatever that is. There's also a US sale going on, so:



I feel sick.

Not Shit

There's yet another kind review of my work from John Arendt here, this time of the recent(ish) Winnie-the-Shit.

You can buy the book in print from the EU shop here, the US shop here, or in pdf form here.

If you are unfortunate enough to be in the shattered remains of the UK and you order from the EU shop, you will get free postage up to the 10th of December 2023. That's on all books, I believe, not just my ones. It may even be on t-shirts and other stuff. I have no idea to be honest.

We Don't Talk About Bruno, but We Do Talk to Him

The other day I was interviewed about games design! It's a bit rambling and incoherent because it was 4am for me, and then Bruno's power cut out in the middle, so I interviewed myself for a few minutes, and I don't know if that's been edited out because I hate the sound of my voice and the look of my stupid long face so I haven't watched the video.

Anyway.

Où est la Bibliography?

This is as much for me as anyone else, as I've sort of lost track of what I've done over the years.

I am the main artist or writer on underlined titles; everything else is a contribution as part of a group of artists and writers.

If you think of anything I've forgotten, or got wrong, then please let me know.

2001 The Girly Comic #1 - "The Wait" (art)
2005 Solar Wind #6 - "Donny Darto" (art)
2005 Sunny For Girls #2 - "Team Spirit" (art)
2007 Paragon #3 - "More Than You Can Chew" (art and writing)
2007 The O Men #2.5 - "Fluke" (art and writing)
2008 PJANG #1 - "Rooms for Writers" (art)

2009 B/X Companion (art)
2009 Fight On! #4 (art)
2009 Fight On! #6 (art)
2009 Fight On! #7 (art and writing)
2009 Fungoid Gardens of the Bone Sorcerer (art)

2010 Fight On! #8 (art)
2010 Fight On! #9 (art and writing)
2010 Fight On! #10 (art)
2010 PJANG #5 - "The Ex-Men" (art)
2010 Old Dragon: Módulo Básico (art)

2011 Advanced Fighting Fantasy (one small drawing on one page. Other editions were released in 2012 and 2016)
2011 Carcosa (uncredited; one teeny tiny blink-and-you'll-miss-it bit of art)
2011 Fight On! #11 (art)
2011 Fight On! #12 (art)
2011 Fight On! #13 (art)
2011 Lands of Ara Compendium 2011 (art)
2011 Too Much Sex & Violence #1 (art)

2012 Caverns of Slime (I have no memory of this! I think I probably did some art)
2012 The Complete B/X Adventurer (art)
2012 Death Love Doom (art)
2012 Fight On! #14 (art)
2012 The Girly Comic Book 1 (reprints "The Wait")
2012 Theorems & Thaumaturgy (art)
2012 Too Much Sex & Violence #3 (art)

2013 Old Dragon: Regras para Jogos Clássicos de Fantasia (art)
2013 Too Much Sex & Violence #5 (art)

2014 Dwimmermount (art)
2014 Dwimmermount Illustration Book (art)
2014 Forgive Us (art, maps, and writing)
2014 Petty Gods (art)
2014 The Secrets of Cats (art)
2014 Thulian Echoes (art)
2014 Zombre: An Undead Anthology (art)

2015 From the Vats (art)
2015 Petty Gods: Revised & Expanded Edition (art)
2015 The Secrets of Cats: Animals & Threats (art)
2015 The Squid, The Cabal, and The Old Man (art and maps)

2016 The Secrets of Cats: Feline Magic (art)
2016 Slugs! (art and a tiny bit of writing)
2016 Wormskin #4 (maps)

2017 Death is the New Pink (art)
2017 The Weird That Befell Drigbolton (art and maps)
2017 Wormskin #6 (maps)
2017 Wormskin #7 (art)

2018 Fish Fuckers (art, maps, and writing)

2019 Midvinter (art, maps, and writing)
2019 More Than Meets the Eye (art, maps, and writing)
2019 Adventure Anthology: Fire (new art for The Doom-Cave of the Crystal-Headed Children)
2019 Adventure Anthology: Death (reprints Death Love Doom)
2019 Barbarians of Orange Boiling Seas (art)

2020 Adventure Anthology: Blood (literally hundreds of pictures)
2020 Barbarians of the Ruined Earth (art)
2020 The Seed (art, maps, and writing)

2021 Comes Chaos (art)
2021 Green Messiah (art, maps, and writing)
2021 Oakfell Vale (art)
2021 The Excellent Travelling Volume #13 (I think I did a picture for this, but I'm not sure if it got printed)
2021 The Slave Mines of Vindicus the Terrible (art)
2021 Terror in the Streets (art, maps, and writing)
2021 Terror in the Streets: Huguenauts and Other Distractions (art, maps, and writing)

2022 The Curious Conundrum of the Conflagrated Condottiero (art, maps, and writing)
2022 The Expiration of Barrington Peake (art, maps, and writing)
2022 Strict Time Records Must Be Kept (art, maps, and writing)

2023 BEE-WARE! (art, maps, and writing)
2023 Big Bee's Pamphlet of Spells (art and writing)
2023 In the Hall of the Third Blue Wizard (art and maps)
2023 Magic Eater (art, maps, and writing)
2023 Winnie-the-Shit (art, maps, and writing)

2024 Fight On! #15 (art)

2025 Fight On! #16 (art)
2025 Altar of Madness (cover art)
2025 The Music of Ericha Zann (art)

Ruining Childhoods Since 2023

It is at this point that I should mention -- since I completely forgot -- that my new Lamentations of the Flame Princess book is now out:

Can you guess the source material?

James Raggi asked for a Cocaine Bear pastiche, and this is what I did. To be fair, there is a bear in the book, and the bear does engage in substance abuse, but the overall focus is a bit different. It's a mini wilderness crawl with anthropomorphic -- and murderous -- animals, a massive idiot, and a conceptual entity that will -- I hope -- befuddle your players and maim their characters.

It went on sale at Ropecon and Gencon a few weeks ago and is now available from the LotFP EU shop. It's not yet on sale at the US shop or DriveThru, but I will try to remember to update you when it is.

(It's now available from the US shop here, or in pdf form here. I remembered!)

Kind Words

John Arendt over at Dreams in the Lich House is embarking on a grand quest to review a huge pile of Lamentations of the Flame Princess books, including a few of mine!

You can read John's review of Magic Eater here.

And his review of Bee-Ware! is here.

And a review of Winnie-the-Shit here.

Elsewhere, The Curious Conundrum of the Conflagrated Condottiero gets a good review at, er, Reviews From R'lyeh.

Finally for today, there's a review of More Than Meets the Eye that is mostly positive and makes some fair criticisms too:



If those reviews have enticed you, you can buy the books in the usual places.

Quids In

All Lamentations of the Flame Princess pdfs are being sold for the bargain price of One English Pound until the 16th!

That includes my books, so if you're reading this and you haven't bought my stuff yet, then now's a great time.




And thank you!

Cunning Linguists

If you can understand Polish and Spanish -- I can't -- you may find these two recent reviews of my books interesting:






If, after watching those, you want to buy the books, you can find them in print here (EU) and here (US; Magic Eater isn't there yet), and in pdf here.

Growing In Unexpected Places

Perhaps you read this article in The New Yorker, googled "Psychic Doomsday Cultists Semi-Accidentally Summoned an Alien Machine That Is Eating the World and Shitting Out a New One!", and were brought here.

Welcome! That's the tagline for my role-playing adventure The Seed, published in 2021 by Games Omnivorous. Alas, at the time of writing it is out of print, but you can get it in pdf here.

I have other rpg books you can buy in pdf here and in print here and here. None of those have been featured in The New Yorker. Yet.

Unboxed Terror

If you were curious about what's in the Big Terror in the Streets box, then ponder no longer as Martin of Daddy Rolled a 1 unboxes the, um, box here:



Martin plans to do a lot more video content, so why not give him a Like and a Subscribe, as the kids say.

The adventure is available in print in Europe here and in North America here; the fancy boxed set version from Martin's video is only available from the European shop, alas, but they will post to Not Europe. A pdf version is available here.

Mid-Price-Vinter

My 2019 winter solstice themed adventure Midvinter is on sale for less than one dollarpound, from now until the end of the winter solstice itself, at DriveThruRPG!

In related news, you can listen to some people playing the adventure below, although there will of course be spoilers:

North By North West Corner

This is an advert for my book Strict Time Records Must Be Kept. Sort of. Ish.



It looks like I completely forgot to mention that I'd written the book, or that it was out, so er, it's out. You can get it in print here and in pdf here. I don't think copies have got to North America yet, but keep an eye out.

Terror in the Youtubes

Here is a very generous review of my adventure Terror in the Streets:



The adventure is available in print in Europe here and in North America here; the fancy boxed set version is only available in Europe, alas. A pdf version is available here.

Work continues on even more adventures, and I hope to have some more news soon.

Business Time

Just a quick one, as March expires, April rises from its ashes, and Mr Taxman sharpens his scythe.

I am told that after some... mysterious delays, the Lamentations of the Flame Princess US shop now has my books Green Messiah and Terror in the Streets in stock. If you are a Filthy Colonial and want my newest books -- and some of the older ones! -- you should be able to order them now. Alas, the fancy pants boxed version of Terror in the Streets has not made it across the Atlantic, although it may be available at GenCon later this year. As soon as I know LotFP's plans for the big convention, I will pass them on.

(The big box is available at the EU shop, as is a selection of other books.)

In other news, the Kickstarter for In the Hall of the Blue Wizard has launched. This is a collaborative zine to which I have contributed one page out of 100. I realise that Kickstarter is Evil these days, so if you don't want to support the Hall, then I understand, but I thought I should probably mention it.

That's all for new. I hope to show off some new bits and pieces soon!