Mince Pie Fest 2021: McDonald's "Festive Pie"

I know, I know, but it is my duty to suffer.

The pastry is awful. I'm not sure it even is pastry. It feels more like some sort of fritter. Fritters are fine. I like fritters, but this is an abysmal example, with the texture of a Kettle Chip and a taste like drinking the fryer at your local chip shop.

(I mean, you've probably developed heart disease just from the picture.)

The custard is unconventional but not a bad addition, although there is far too much in this pie and it overwhelms the mincemeat filling. Which is a shame, because the mincemeat is really quite tasty! It's fruity, rich, and tangy, and better than a lot of the other pies I have tried so far this year.

But the "pastry" ruins everything. 1.5 out of 5.

(Palm oil, obviously, with added tax-dodging.)

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

(If you want to help me fund the testing, you can click below. I've set it to £1, which is what most shop-bought pies cost. Absolutely no pressure, I'm going to buy and eat mince pies anyway, but it's there if you want it.)

Mince Pie Fest 2021: Tesco Spiced Rum

I quite like rum, so I was looking forward to these.

They look good -- I love that lattice pattern -- and the pastry is nice. Crumbly, soft, and sweet. The filling; my gosh, something has gone wrong there. I was hoping for rich fruit with a nice boozy punch, but what we get instead is a combination of flavours that is best described as "vomit". Ugh. 1.5 out of 5.

(Also, palm oil.)

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

Hellboy likes rum too.

Mince Pie Fest 2021: Costa

I had to run out and do some things this morning, and popped into Costa while I was there, because they do mince pies and mince pies are EVERYTHING.

These are... fine. The pastry is soft and the filling has a good amount of flavour, but the pie overall is far too sweet. Not bad, not great, large(ish), but too expensive, even for the size.

3 out of 5.

(These do contain palm oil, if you're tracking.)

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

Mince Pie Fest 2021: M&S Classic

At last. I was beginning to lose hope for 2021.

These pies have a soft but crumbly pastry, and the filling is lovely; fruity, rich, and flavourful, with none of the excessive sourness that has marred some of the other pies this year.

There's probably a little too much sugar on top, but otherwise these are good, and the best of 2021 so far. 4 out of 5. Get your gran to pick some up next time she's in M&S.

(Because only grannies shop at M&S.)

(I score only for taste, but these also get Totally Imaginary Bonus Points™ for the recyclable packaging and no palm oil.)

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

Not So Dirty Dog

The other day I was asked if I had some less... explicit images of the Alien Dog Things from my adventure The Seed. The only reason those monsters look the way they do is because of the tenth rule of the Manifestus Omnivorous, "the adventures cannot have good taste", but even so, I understand why those creatures in particular might be too much for some.

Alas, I went almost straight to a final image with the dogs and no alternate designs existed, so I went away and drew a new Alien Dog Thing.

If you're running the adventure and you want to show your players a picture of the Alien Dog things, but you don't want to show them the Alien Dog Things in the book, then I hope this will serve as a useful alternative.

You can buy The Seed in paper and digital forms.

Mince Pie Fest 2021: Aldi Specially™ Selected

These scruffy pies look like they've been in a fight, but it's taste that counts, and these taste... weird.

The pastry is soft, just how I like it, but also has a nice bite to it. The filling is a bit lacking in overall flavour but there is a touch of booziness that comes through at the end. The weird bit is that the filling is quite chewy, which is an odd sensation, but not an unpleasant one.

They look rough, but I quite like these scrappy little pies. 3.5 out of 5.

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

Mince Pie Fest 2021: Asda Extra Special

Asda again! We've got to the part of the testing where other people shove pies at me to eat.

I'm not complaining.

These big pies are full of flavour, but it's mostly in the pastry, which is sweet to the point of overpowering the filling. All I'm getting is sugar and none of the orange flavour claimed on the box.

These are the sort of things grannies would love, but then they have no teeth to lose. 2 out of 5.

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

(If you want to help me fund the testing, you can click below. I've set it to £1, which is what most shop-bought pies cost. Absolutely no pressure, I'm going to buy and eat mince pies anyway, but it's there if you want it.)

Mince Pie Fest 2021: Lidl Deluxe

Guten Tag!

These are big, chunky, confident pies, with a satisfying bite to the pastry. They are a little skimpy on the filling, which has a strong, citrusy tang, but lacks anything to balance or complement it.

I quite like the big boldness of these Teutonic tasties, but I know, deep down, that they aren't great. 3 out of 5.

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

Mince Pie Fest 2021: Morrisons (Not the Best)

I picked these up at the same time as the posher ones.

These pies are encrusted with sugar and there's an initial hint of a tasty fruity filling, but both are overpowered by the somewhat soggy crust's sickly aftertaste, which lingers long after the pie is eaten.

These pies are cheap, which should be a good thing, but I think paying a bit more -- if you can -- is worth it. These get 2 out of 5.

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021

Mince Pie Fest 2021: Asda Extra Special "Luxury"

In 2020, Asda produced some solid if unimpressive mid-range pies. This year?

The pastry has more of a bite to it than I like, and is almost crispy. The filling is tangy, touching on bitter, and borders even on unpleasant at times.

These aren't bad pies, but something has gone a bit wrong here. Luxury, they are not. 2.5 out of 5.

#mincetagram #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2021