The Principle of Cola Made Flesh

While I'm getting back up to fighting fitness, here's the original Pepsi logo:



Carbonated soft drink or Scandinavian black metal band? Only you can decide!

Best Laid

Well that didn't go according to plan, did it?

I was supposed to be finishing up [REDACTED] by now, but instead I've been bed-ridden for a month, with either one really weird ever-changing illness, or a sequence of ailments that have all run into each other like a Human Centipede.

I'm feeling mostly better now, and can actually get around under my own power, so maybe I'll be able to get back on schedule.

Ha.

Checklist 2024

Right then, with that said, what creative projects am I planning to get done in 2024? This list exists as much to keep me honest as anything.

• Maps for [REDACTED]. This is my January job. Once this is out of the way, I can work on the other stuff.
• The Gargantuan Ovum of Sir William Hatcher, an egg-cellent adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. I'm hoping for a March publication for this one.
• Untitled Adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. As long as this is published by the end of the year, I'll be happy.
• WAR 16XX, which won't be the final title, unless we go mad. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess.
• Griffin Hill, a horror campaign/setting/campaign setting. I'm not sure of the system yet.

That'll do as a minimum, and we'll see what else crops up as the year goes on.

Masterplan 2024

I would have posted this earlier but I noticed that I had 69 posts in 2023, and I am a child.

Well, 2023 was a bit of a crapper. Indulge me as I moan about why, or just click here to skip to the optimistic bit.

I have had a day job since February in which I don't know how to do anything, and there's no one to train me in how to do those things, which ends up being massively demoralising every day. So that's great for my mental health.

My creative work has also suffered this year. I did get some books out, and got noticed by wargamer.com and The New Bloody Yorker, but I felt my creative energies fail and flounder in 2023. I struggled to get anything written after Winnie-the-Shit; it has felt difficult to write anything and what I did write felt bad and shonky.

At the same time, while I've never held any illusions that I am a great artist, I've always felt at least competent, but in 2023 I became more dissatisfied with my art than ever before. I feel like I've got as far as I can with my current style and I don't know what to do about that. Is it too late for me to develop a new style? Is that something I can even do, or is the way I draw just the way I draw, no backsies?

I haven't done much gaming this year and I have missed it. I've played a few games with Stuart over the year but I haven't met with the rest of my so-called-regular group since around October 2022 (!). Again I seem to have lost confidence, which is a bit weird considering it's a hobby and doesn't require much effort, but there it is.

A loss of confidence is an apt description in general. I feel like a bit of a failure in all walks of life. Incapable or incompetent, surviving rather than thriving. A pointless existence. Heavy, man.

So, 2024 then. How do I turn this around?

Well, the intent is there, so that's something.

I have some long-delayed projects that I am going to try to finish off in January, to start the new year off with a clean(ish) slate.

After that, I have two adventures for Lamentations of the Flame Princess that I want to get out this year, plus another non-adventure book.

That's probably enough to be getting on with and if I get those three out I will consider 2024 a success, but I've also got plans for a non-LotFP adventure book, and also branching out to work with some new people. There are also some tentative discussions about a couple of comics projects, which should be a fun return to an area I've long missed.

I hope I'll get back to some more regular gaming too. I'd like to play more Stargrave, and I bought a copy of The Doomed -- or is it The DOOMED? -- and that looks like good fun. And of course I would love to get Legions Imperialis to the table at some point.

It would also be nice to get to play some of those unplayed games too.

So let's see what 2024 brings! I'm going into it in a more positive frame of mind than I ended 2023, which is a good start. Let's go!

See You on the Other Side, Meatbags!

Mince Pie Fest 2023: Infinity Foods

Surprise #MincePieFest2023 update!

It's not Christmas without an Infinity Foods mince pie!

Firm but not crunchy pastry, with a lovely hint of sweetness, and a very rich, almost umami, tasty filling full of fruit and maybe a little twist of booze? #Vegan too, if that matters to you. I'm going to minus 1 because you need a small mortgage to get them, but I'll add 1 because I was early enough to catch them right out of the oven.

Delicious. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay

Mince Pie Fest 2023: The Bastard Kipling

Oh, look who finally turned up, the Bastard Kipling himself.

These are big, chunky pies, with a nice firm pastry. Alas that same pastry is chalky and dry, and tastes mainly of nothing. The filling too is oddly tasteless, like it's made of teeny packing peanuts. The edible sort, obviously, that are basically unflavoured Wotsits. Don't try to eat the other ones, because they will do your insides no good whatsoever.

Anyway. 1.5 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay #mincetagram

Mince Pie Fest 2023: The Results!

I was going to do the final #MincePieFest2023 rankings today but then my good friend Casey reminded me that I hadn't done The Bastard Kipling yet BUT THEN I went out today and couldn't find The Bastard Kipling anywhere so we are back to the original plan.

So then, my top three mince pies of 2023 are:

#3 - Aldi Holly Lane and Asda Yummy, both good pies with 3.5 out of 5. Good effort and neither is super expensive.

#2 - Morrisons "The Best" and M&S Classic. Excellent pies at 4 out of 5, a whole 0.5 better for M&S since last year!

#1 - The best nationally available (probably) mince pie of 2023 is...

COOP! Beautiful 4.5 out of 5 pies, much better than a shop bought mince pie should be. Well done COOP that's the best three years in a row!

So, in fact, it was a top five then.

Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions and well wishes and even the handful of indications of concern. I do this for you as much as for me. Honest.

If anyone wants to bung me a quid or two at https://ko-fi.com/thekelvingreen feel free, but let's be honest, I would have bought and eaten them anyway! #GetInMyBelly

#mincetagram #MincePieADay

Mince Pie Fest 2023: M&S Collection

These ARE the fancy ones, a pound more expensive, and... not as good.

The pastry is firm but a bit bland, and while there's plenty of tasty, hearty filling, it doesn't "zing". Well, no, it does in fact zing because the citrus overpowers everything else. Apparently these have Cognac in them, but I can't taste it past the overwhelming clementines.

(Great name for a band that. Probably early 90s grunge.)

Anyway... 2.5 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2023

Mince Pie Fest 2023: M&S Classic

These pies look a bit dry and anaemic, but this is clearly just clever misdirection as they are quite lovely! The pastry is a bit bland but has a good texture, just the right side of soft.

That filling though, my gosh. Rich, fruity, and packed full of (non boozy) flavour, all balanced, never overwhelming, and there's plenty of it. What a lovely surprise. 4 out of 5 and these aren't even the fancy ones! #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2023