Fantastic! Fantastic?

Yesterday, Marvel announced the cast of the upcoming(ish) Fantastic Four film, and the announcement was Valentine's Day themed because... Reed and Sue are a couple?

(I've heard that there was a leak imminent and Marvel wanted to get ahead of it.)

Anyway, I hope it will be good. A decent film adaptation has been a long time coming -- yes, I know, The Incredibles -- but part of me does wonder if it's cursed and should be left well alone. But it's the Fantastic Four, you know? They are very much a cornerstone of Marvel, even if all the films have been rubbish and -- if we're honest -- no one really likes the comic either.

Ahem.

I have two main hopes for the film, neither of which I feel confident will be happening.

• Skip the origin. The origin story of the Fantastic Four is by far the least interesting bit. They go up in a spaceship. Cosmic rays. Crash. Superpowers! If we really must have this on-screen, it can be covered in a credits montage, like the opening of Superman II, and the film can start with them already established.




• Do not make Doctor Doom the villain. Doom is one of Stan and Jack's greatest creations, and he's an integral part of the Fantastic Four concept, but most of the best work with the character was done after they moved on and Doom engaged with the wider Marvel Universe. It would be an awful waste to reduce him to the bad guy who gets done over at the end of two hours. The rumours that Marvel is rejigging the big Kang metaplot to use Doom instead give me a bit of hope that he won't be squandered. Fingers crossed.

The casting of Pedro Pascal as Reed Richards also worries me a bit. Pascal seems to be one of the genuinely loveliest people on the planet, which makes me think that in casting him as Reed, Marvel thinks Richards is a nice guy. He really isn't. In the Four's very first appearance Reed causes an accident that gives his friends powers (yay?), calls himself "Mr Fantastic" in response, and dubs his alleged best friend Ben -- who has been transformed into a hideous rock monster and probably needs some support right now -- a "Thing". And this is in issue #1! His behaviour does not improve.

You can make a complicated, difficult Reed who is still a good guy; it occurs to me that Peter Capaldi's Doctor is probably the best accidental adaptation of Richards. He's fiercely intelligent, infinitely curious, generally on the side of good, but absolutely weapons grade terrible with people, because empathy is not a legitimate scientific discipline. Will Marvel go in that sort of direction or will it be Cuddly Daddy Reed? I fear the latter.

(At this point, I should link to my article on Reed Richards, which was apparently the most popular thing I wrote in my former life as a comics journalist. Enjoy.)

So there you go, my thoughts on the Fantastic Four film, which won't be out for a year and a half, if at all. A comics -- sort of -- piece on the blog. What is this, 2006 or something?

Celebrate?

I feel terrible posting this video, because of my crippling self-loathing, but I also realise it's good for my "brand", whatever that is. There's also a US sale going on, so:



I feel sick.

The Principle of Cola Made Flesh

While I'm getting back up to fighting fitness, here's the original Pepsi logo:



Carbonated soft drink or Scandinavian black metal band? Only you can decide!

Best Laid

Well that didn't go according to plan, did it?

I was supposed to be finishing up [REDACTED] by now, but instead I've been bed-ridden for a month, with either one really weird ever-changing illness, or a sequence of ailments that have all run into each other like a Human Centipede.

I'm feeling mostly better now, and can actually get around under my own power, so maybe I'll be able to get back on schedule.

Ha.

Checklist 2024

Right then, with that said, what creative projects am I planning to get done in 2024? This list exists as much to keep me honest as anything.

• Maps for [REDACTED]. This is my January job. Once this is out of the way, I can work on the other stuff.
• The Gargantuan Ovum of Sir William Hatcher, an egg-cellent adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. I'm hoping for a March publication for this one.
• Untitled Adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. As long as this is published by the end of the year, I'll be happy.
• WAR 16XX, which won't be the final title, unless we go mad. For Lamentations of the Flame Princess.
• Griffin Hill, a horror campaign/setting/campaign setting. I'm not sure of the system yet.

That'll do as a minimum, and we'll see what else crops up as the year goes on.

Masterplan 2024

I would have posted this earlier but I noticed that I had 69 posts in 2023, and I am a child.

Well, 2023 was a bit of a crapper. Indulge me as I moan about why, or just click here to skip to the optimistic bit.

I have had a day job since February in which I don't know how to do anything, and there's no one to train me in how to do those things, which ends up being massively demoralising every day. So that's great for my mental health.

My creative work has also suffered this year. I did get some books out, and got noticed by wargamer.com and The New Bloody Yorker, but I felt my creative energies fail and flounder in 2023. I struggled to get anything written after Winnie-the-Shit; it has felt difficult to write anything and what I did write felt bad and shonky.

At the same time, while I've never held any illusions that I am a great artist, I've always felt at least competent, but in 2023 I became more dissatisfied with my art than ever before. I feel like I've got as far as I can with my current style and I don't know what to do about that. Is it too late for me to develop a new style? Is that something I can even do, or is the way I draw just the way I draw, no backsies?

I haven't done much gaming this year and I have missed it. I've played a few games with Stuart over the year but I haven't met with the rest of my so-called-regular group since around October 2022 (!). Again I seem to have lost confidence, which is a bit weird considering it's a hobby and doesn't require much effort, but there it is.

A loss of confidence is an apt description in general. I feel like a bit of a failure in all walks of life. Incapable or incompetent, surviving rather than thriving. A pointless existence. Heavy, man.

So, 2024 then. How do I turn this around?

Well, the intent is there, so that's something.

I have some long-delayed projects that I am going to try to finish off in January, to start the new year off with a clean(ish) slate.

After that, I have two adventures for Lamentations of the Flame Princess that I want to get out this year, plus another non-adventure book.

That's probably enough to be getting on with and if I get those three out I will consider 2024 a success, but I've also got plans for a non-LotFP adventure book, and also branching out to work with some new people. There are also some tentative discussions about a couple of comics projects, which should be a fun return to an area I've long missed.

I hope I'll get back to some more regular gaming too. I'd like to play more Stargrave, and I bought a copy of The Doomed -- or is it The DOOMED? -- and that looks like good fun. And of course I would love to get Legions Imperialis to the table at some point.

It would also be nice to get to play some of those unplayed games too.

So let's see what 2024 brings! I'm going into it in a more positive frame of mind than I ended 2023, which is a good start. Let's go!

See You on the Other Side, Meatbags!

Mince Pie Fest 2023: Infinity Foods

Surprise #MincePieFest2023 update!

It's not Christmas without an Infinity Foods mince pie!

Firm but not crunchy pastry, with a lovely hint of sweetness, and a very rich, almost umami, tasty filling full of fruit and maybe a little twist of booze? #Vegan too, if that matters to you. I'm going to minus 1 because you need a small mortgage to get them, but I'll add 1 because I was early enough to catch them right out of the oven.

Delicious. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay

Mince Pie Fest 2023: The Bastard Kipling

Oh, look who finally turned up, the Bastard Kipling himself.

These are big, chunky pies, with a nice firm pastry. Alas that same pastry is chalky and dry, and tastes mainly of nothing. The filling too is oddly tasteless, like it's made of teeny packing peanuts. The edible sort, obviously, that are basically unflavoured Wotsits. Don't try to eat the other ones, because they will do your insides no good whatsoever.

Anyway. 1.5 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay #mincetagram

Mince Pie Fest 2023: The Results!

I was going to do the final #MincePieFest2023 rankings today but then my good friend Casey reminded me that I hadn't done The Bastard Kipling yet BUT THEN I went out today and couldn't find The Bastard Kipling anywhere so we are back to the original plan.

So then, my top three mince pies of 2023 are:

#3 - Aldi Holly Lane and Asda Yummy, both good pies with 3.5 out of 5. Good effort and neither is super expensive.

#2 - Morrisons "The Best" and M&S Classic. Excellent pies at 4 out of 5, a whole 0.5 better for M&S since last year!

#1 - The best nationally available (probably) mince pie of 2023 is...

COOP! Beautiful 4.5 out of 5 pies, much better than a shop bought mince pie should be. Well done COOP that's the best three years in a row!

So, in fact, it was a top five then.

Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions and well wishes and even the handful of indications of concern. I do this for you as much as for me. Honest.

If anyone wants to bung me a quid or two at https://ko-fi.com/thekelvingreen feel free, but let's be honest, I would have bought and eaten them anyway! #GetInMyBelly

#mincetagram #MincePieADay