Saturday, November 22, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Morrisons


Well.

These have a lovely firm but crumbly pastry and a filling that tastes of... nothing. Not bad, not good, just literally tasteless. I'd give them one point for the pastry but 1 would imply that they're bad. But they're not bad, they just are. ? out of 5. (Palm Oil)

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Friday, November 21, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Lidl Deluxe


Crikey, it looks like a footballer's coffee table.

These have a nice firm pastry and I'm fairly certain there's a good, flavourful filling in there somewhere, but there is so much sugar piled on these that I can only detect the barest hints of festive spices. 3 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Thursday, November 20, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Iceland

These have a firm pastry, just on the right side of the dreaded crispy, a bit sweet for me but not unpleasant. The filling is... unusual. It's lacking in the flavours you'd expect from a mince pie -- there's no spice, and no alcohol -- but instead there's a syrupy richness, verging on umami, that reminds me of, more than anything else, cola. It's weird, but I quite like it. 3 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Favorina (Lidl)

These have a soft pastry, a bit too soft, and a bit sweeter than I like too. The filling has a good initial hit of spicy flavour, but it's alas overwhelmed by that overly sweet pastry. 2.5 out of 5. (Palm oil)

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Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: COOP Irresistible

The winners in 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024. How do they get on in 2025?


These have a gorgeous texture, with a firm bite and a pleasant chewiness. The filling is a warming blend of fruit, spice, and a hint of alcohol. Lots of lovely flavours.

But alas!

The pastry is far too sweet and the sugar overpowers the filling, making the overall taste a bit cakey. Now of course these are a sweet treat, I am under no delusions there, but one of the things I love about mince pies -- and that apparently 87% of the population hates -- is that the sweetness is balanced by the other, almost savoury, flavours, and here the balance is a bit wonky. 4 out of 5. (Palm oil; COOP claims to only use sustainable palm oil, for what it's worth.)

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Monday, November 17, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Iceland Luxury

These have a strong, buttery scent that I didn't hate. The pastry is firm but not crunchy and is not too sweet, nor has the bitterness you often get with buttery pies. The filling is full of fruity flavours -- including some unexpected yuzu! -- and a touch of warming booze. I would maybe like a bit more spice in there to give the filling some more depth and punch, but otherwise these are pretty good. 4 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Sunday, November 16, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: COOP Merry

These are very sweet! There's a dusting of sugar on the pastry, the (very soft) pastry itself is sweet, and the filling is sweet too. There is a bit of a spicy twist to the filling that I like, but it's not enough to counteract the overpowering sweetness. 2 out of 5, but feel free to add one point if you've got more of a sweet tooth than I do. (Palm oil; COOP claims to only use sustainable palm oil, for what it's worth)

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Saturday, November 15, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Sainsbos Taste the Difference

Straight away these make a bad impression with a weird smell, sort of stale and yeasty.


The pastry is pretty bad too. It has far too much sugar and a crispy, crunchy, texture that goes beyond firm (which I like) into nasty (which I don't like). The filling is quite tasty, with strong flavours of fruits and spices, but it's not worth battling past that dodgy pastry, and then the whole thing is topped off with a deeply unsettling bitter aftertaste. Not good at all. 1 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Friday, November 14, 2025

Cthulhu Hack: Boston 1973 (part three)

Continued from here.

With Al in hospital recovering from hundreds of spider bites, Eva Angel, Danny's sister and owner of the agency, joined the investigation. The next day the investigators stocked up on cans of kerosene and went back to the Sister of Mercy house to search for survivors and, if necessary, burn the place to the ground. All was quiet and much as they'd left it the day before, except now an unoccupied Boston Police patrol car was parked outside.

They decided to enter via the back garden this time and head upstairs to the unexplored first floor. There they found a series of hospital rooms -- the Sisters were a charitable organisation that as well as helping the needy, provided medical training for young Catholic women -- and in each an exsanguinated corpse. Also on the first floor were the Sisters' rooms, all but two empty; in the first a spider attacked the group and was quickly squashed; in the second the investigators found a lone surviving Sister, driven insane by her experiences. The group tried to talk to the woman, to calm her and perhaps get some insight into what had happened at the house, but their efforts seemed to make the Sister's condition worse, and they were forced to sedate her.

They took the unconscious Sister to Al's car, and returning to the house, gave the ground floor rooms they had already explored a quick check. No further spiders were encountered, but to their surprise the investigators found that all the bodies had been removed!

All, that is, except the cocoon in the chapel. Frank, looking over his broad shoulder for spiders the whole time, cut the cocoon open and found the body of Wesley Brooks, covered in bites and drained of blood.

They could put it off no longer; it was time to enter the cellar where Al had almost met his doom, and face whatever dwelt there. No spiders assaulted them this time but heading further into the cellar they encountered a police officer, stumbling around as if drugged. As the investigators approached, he lurched towards them, arms outstretched, eyes bloodshot, and face all bloated and grey.

And then they saw the spider.

A couple of hairy arachnid legs emerged from the officer's mouth and eight malevolent eyes gleamed within as the creature attempted to grapple with Frank. Bullets seemed to do very little to the thing but fire slowed it down and a gunshot to the back of the head forced the spider to emerge, where it burned in the kerosene-fuelled flames the investigators were splashing about.

Another spider-puppet emerged from the deeper cellars but waited at the edge of the flames, further suggesting that these arachnids were not just simple animals, but the investigators killed this one off too, with the clever and patient application of fire.

Once the flames had died down the group explored further, finding no more hostile entities, but instead a vast web stretched across one cellar wall, with hundreds of tiny spiders crawling and weaving, adding to it as the investigators watched. Worse, the web was a deep, dark red, and pulsed as if it had, um, a pulse. As Frank looked on he was sure he could spy a passage in the wall behind the web but the investigators decided this was horror enough and sprayed the creepy construction with fuel before setting it alight.

The tiny spiders fled into cracks in the wall and floor and the web burned away, leaving -- to Frank's shock -- an unmarked and very solid brick wall...

Finding no other survivors, the investigators retreated, soaking the house in fuel as they went. They stayed just long enough to make sure that the house caught alight and then drove away into the fog to try and forget the terrors they had experienced.


The adventure was "Dance of Death" by JB Hill from Challenge magazine #73, with some of my own additions and modifications, and of course conversion to Cthulhu Hack. I've had the adventure for years and have never had a chance to get it to the table, but with a Halloween gap in our Vaesen campaign and an itch to get one of my unplayed role-playing games to the table, I thought I had a perfect opportunity to give it a try at long last.

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Sainsbos


Exemplars of averageness these. The pastry has a nice bit of crumble and crunch to it, but is also a tiny bit dry and doesn't have much taste. The filling is juicy and fruity, but there's nothing else going on, no hints of booze or spice. These are perfectly decent fruit pies, but there's nothing festive about them. 3 out of 5. (Palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Thursday, November 13, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Asda Exceptional (Bakery)

Like these ones, but made by hand by real people instead of machines.

Probably.

Ish.


Look at these chunky boys! A full 4cm deep!


These have lovely pastry, a proper pie crust, thick and with a pleasant bite. The filling is gorgeous, full of spices, a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE hit of brandy and port, and then a little citrus kick at the end. It's really very tasty indeed.

Except.


Look at that! You could fly a kite in there.

These are lovely pies, and would probably get a top score, except they are half air. That's very disappointing. 4 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Wednesday, November 12, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: M&S Classic

These were ruddy awful last year. I was not looking forward to trying them this year.


The pastry is firm, just the right side of "crispy", with a pleasant bite to it. It looks a bit dry, but appearances in this case are deceiving. The filling is fruity and tasty, but uninteresting, lacking any sort of kick. It's not spicy, there's no citrusy zing, and zero detectable boozy flavours. It's decent enough, but quite generic.

These are a huge improvement over last year's version but in truth they are still just average. 3 out of 5. (Palm oil)

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Tuesday, November 11, 2025

OMV! Merrily Vegan (Asda)

Impulse buy!


The pastry is so soft as to be almost non-existent, like biting into a particularly sugary cloud. The filling is quite tasty, although it's all fruit and no interesting booze or spices, and it's a bit stingy.

These are okay, but nothing special. Vegans deserve better. 3 out of 5. (Palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Monday, November 10, 2025

Mince Pie fest 2025: Aldi Perfect * Christmas


"Perfect"? Quite a bold gambit there, Aldi. I admire your confidence.


Alas! Woe! The pastry is far too soft, with no bite to it at all, and is dry and chalky. The filling is not much better, bland and with a slightly unpleasant crunchy texture. Chewy, I like, crunchy, not so much.

These are not actively bad, but they are not much good either. Last year's Aldi "basic" pies were excellent, so I'm not sure what went wrong. 2 out of 5. (Palm oil)

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Sunday, November 09, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: M&S Collection

These pies have a big initial hit of citrus, juicy and orangey and very nice indeed, although it does somewhat overpower the other flavours. The pastry is a bit too soft and sweet and gets a bit claggy as you chew, which muddies the lovely taste of the filling. They are a little on the small side for such expensive pies too. 3 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Saturday, November 08, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Asda Exceptional

Well, well, well.


These have a lovely firm and sweet pastry, and a mild but tasty filling. There are lots of varied fruity, spicy, and boozy flavours in here, but the diverse mix of tastes is never overwhelming. Maybe I'd like to be a little overwhelmed, and maybe there could be more of that delicious filling, and maybe the pastry is a bit dry, but I'm nitpicking. These are very good pies indeed. 4 out of 5. (Palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Friday, November 07, 2025

Cthulhu Hack: Boston 1973 (part two)

Continued from here.

The next day, the investigators went to visit the Sisters of Mercy, where the apparently revenant Pat Bibby had been buried. On the way they remembered that the priest O'Brian was going to visit the Sisters so turned around and headed for his church, with the intent to travel together. Upon arrival they were informed that father O'Brian had already left, so they turned around again and went back to the Sisters' house.

Upon arrival they found all the curtains drawn and the front door unlocked. Inside they found two corpses in the entrance hall, one a woman hanging by her neck and another, O'Brian, slumped on the ground. Frank tried to get the woman down, hoping that she was still alive, and a spider the size of his hand crawled down her leg and leaped at him! The big bruiser dodged the spider, pulled out his handgun, and blasted the thing into goo.

All of this was too much for Danny and he blacked out.

The others examined O'Brian, finding puncture wounds in his neck and blood around his mouth and on his fingers, as if he'd been digging around in his own mouth...

Al splashed some whisky down Danny's gullet, bringing him back from unconsciousness, and the investigators, um, investigated further. They entered a chapel with what appeared to be a human body cocooned in webs on the altar. Frank crept in while the others held back and prodded the body, expecting a horde of spider to emerge. Which is exactly what happened.
Sparassidae Palystes castaneus mature female 9923s

They shot at and stomped on the spiders, but more appeared from under chairs and behind curtains, so the group retreated, shutting the door behind them. Within seconds, tens of tiny spider feet could be heard tapping at the door.

Moving on, the investigators went out the back door into the garden and found some graves, including that of Pat Bibby; her grave had been dug up and the coffin was empty. They then went into the kitchen and found two more hanging corpses, and two more spiders! Al and Frank killed the arachnids, but the shock broke Muriel's mind and she became confused, forgetting anything from waking up that morning. Why was she here? Where was here? What was going on? While the others attended to Muriel, Al searched the kitchen for anything useful and found a small can of kerosene.

They found the Sisters' office and found evidence that someone had stood on the desk in muddy shoes, and that a rope tied to a ceiling beam had been cut. They also discovered that somehow the spiders had got out of the chapel! How did they open the door? Surely they couldn't be intelligent?

(Yes and don't call me Shirley, etc.)

The investigators shut the office door and barricaded it with the heavy desk, and then went next door into a visitor's room, where they found the exsanguinated corpse of a male toddler and an open door, through which spiders poured! The investigators backed into the office, with Frank blocking the door and Al splashing kerosene over the approaching arachnids then setting them aflame. But there were too many spiders and Al was bitten, the venom causing his limbs to stiffen.

Danny grabbed the confused Muriel and got her out of the house, with Frank following, but Al instead headed down into the cellar, where he was swarmed by even more spiders and bitten multiple times. Danny shoved his aunt into Frank's arms, told his old friend to look after her, then ran back into the house to rescue Al. In the chaos, Danny also was bitten a number of times, while Al's condition worsened; he was unable to fight off the spider attacks, shuddering with seizures as the venom ravaged his nervous system. Frank returned to the house to drag them both out. Muriel, alone and confused, wandered off into the fog.

Frank shoved Al and Danny into Al's car and drove off. Danny used his Scrounger ability to find a small vial in his jacket pocket; he remembered picking it up on one of his travels and was pretty sure it was spider antivenom.

Probably.

Ish.

Danny burned a couple of investigation dice to leverage this cosmic coincidence to halt the venom killing Al, leaving him alive but on 2 CON! The three men drove off and soon passed Muriel wandering about. Stopping to pick up Danny's baffled aunt, the investigators drove away to lick their wounds.

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Aldi Specially Selected


The pastry on these has a nice firm texture, but the flavour is a tiny bit sickly. The filling has a full, fruity, tangy taste, and there is plenty of it, but the texture is a bit... gritty? These should be very good pies, but minor flaws make them a bit off-putting. 3 out of 5. (Palm oil)

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