They Live Among Us!

It's our anniversary today (well, one of our anniversaries, but it's a long story...). I'd like to say that it's been a marriage without disagreement or strife, but that would be a lie. Case in point:
Meg adores this lamp. She loves it. However, I find it to be chilling and disturbing, and I'm pretty sure that it's some kind of alien vampire that stands motionless, mantis-like, awaiting a chance to reach down and pierce my skull, hoping to then siphon up my quivering brain jelly.