No 2024 Survives Contact With the Enemy

So here we are, about to shuffle 2024 off into the euthanasia booth (for its own good), and how did I get on with my goals for the year? And those projects I was trying to finish?

Er...

Let's do the projects first:

• Maps for [REDACTED]: well, this didn't go well. [REDACTED] is out, my maps are not in it, and the whole situation has been a bit of a confusing mess that I would prefer to forget.
• The Gargantuan Ovum of Sir William Hatcher: I completely lost confidence in this with about 50% done. I'm just not sure it's any good. Maybe I will revisit it.
• Untitled Adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess: I don't even remember what this is, which suggests I didn't start writing it.
• WAR 16XX: Indeed not the final title. This one is almost done. I've decided to chuck an adventure in the book, even though it doesn't really need one, so that's added some development time. This one's coming out in 2025, whatever happens.
• Griffin Hill: This bubbles away in the background. I may end up publishing this myself, piece by piece, then go looking for a publisher for the final product. Maybe.

Not a great level of success there. And my other goals?

• Stargrave: Stuart and I got a couple of games in before the end of the year, but only just! I think we've got a taste for it again, so I'm confident we'll play more.
• The DOOMED: I played one game and enjoyed it, but I don't know if Stuart and I have enough headspacetime for another skirmish wargame. It does have solo rules, so maybe I'll try a few games in that mode.
• Legions Imperialis: Still in the box, unassembled and unpainted, under my desk. So much for my love of epic scale warfare.
• My gaming group and the unplayed rpg list: I didn't make a full return, but I ran a couple of sessions of Lady Blackbird and played in Stuart's Night of the Hogmen game, both in-person, and also playtested Stuart's 1941 Call of Cthulhu scenario over Discord/Roll20. I played in some of Ben's Delta Green game, and I also dropped into some board games with the gang.
• The 40K Project: It wasn't on my goals list, but Stuart and I finally kicked off our plan to play every single edition of Warhammer 40,000 in order and we had good fun. We're painting up some final units for second edition, and hope we can get that played in the first few weeks of 2025.

That looks a bit more successful!

I'm not going to make any real solid goals for 2025, but:

• I should be able to get WAR 16XX (not the final title) finished. I plan to do the art myself, which does mean regaining confidence in my drawing...
• I think I have at least one more LotFP adventure in me, so I'll see if I can get one done.
• More 40K, The DOOMED, and Stargrave.
• Legions Imperialis? Maybe?
• Let's try to tick another one off the unplayed rpg list. Why not?

That looks suspiciously like a list of goals, so maybe I should stop now before things get out of hand.

Happy new year everyone! I hope 2025 is better!

A Return to the Stars

After a veeeeerrrryyyy long, and mostly unplanned, hiatus, Stuart and I got together to play more Stargrave in recent days. It was good!

It was also a bit of a challenge trying to remember how to play the game after such a long absence, as you will see.

First up, on the 13th, was the Data Vault mission, which Stuart set up using black dominoes for a nice 2001 type feel.

This mission turned out to be a bit of a disaster for Stuart's crew, for a number of key reasons:

1) I was rolling 20s all over the place and Stuart barely rolled above a 4 all game, prompting numerous excommunications of Traitor Dice to the Box of Shame™.

This happened (to me) quite a lot.

2) We decided to use the "Unwanted Attention" rule for a bit of added drama, except all the drama happened on Stuart's side of the table, and the Space Cops and Space Bounty Hunters between them massacred his crew.

3) In the intervening 23 months we had both forgotten that Stargrave crews are limited to 10 members, and I seemed to have 11...

One of those two troopers toward the bottom of the picture shouldn't be there.

You can read Stuart's summary of the mission here.

A few days later, on the 19th, we met again to play(test) my homebrew mission Starfall. In the intervening time my squad had discovered that an alien shapechanger had infiltrated the crew, and the offending extra trooper had been encouraged to "walk the airlock".

Ahem.

Now, Stuart won the game (spoiler) as he got away with the loot and most of the xp, but he may not consider it a total victory, as you will see.

With only a rough idea of where the satellite could crash-land, the two crews fanned out to cover as much of the table as possible.

On the third turn it became clear where the landing point would be, and there followed a mad scramble. Alas, I had fanned out a bit too much, and the crew on my left never really got involved. Stuart's crew got to the satellite first, and managed to unlock the precious data, so I decided to hold back and blast away while they were exposed.

New -- and expensive! -- recruit Arnold the Power Armoured Bastard (Retired) got involved and managed to get away with the data, before two of my robots pounced and gang-stomped him into the dirt.

"Get to da (space) choppah!"

Stuart had better luck this game -- only one d20 was banished! -- and I'd used most of my 20s last time, although I'm not sure he'd agree, as I did manage to take out all of his crew aside from one lonely drone, but crucially, the drone had the data. My crew was too far away to catch or shoot the drone and my only hope was a lone wandering monster that saw the shiny thing and loped after it, but couldn't quite catch the mechanoid, so it zoomed off into the distance with the loot... and victory!

The scenario went quite well and we both liked how the pace and tone changed between the before-crash and after-crash phases. I had some worries about a couple of minor details of the mechanics, but Stuart assured me they weren't issues, so I've made no changes, beyond beefing up the xp award for "catching" the satellite. If you have a go at Starfall, please let me know how you get on!

(You can read Stuart's summary here.)

We've both caught the Stargrave bug again and as long as real life doesn't intrude too much we are keen to play more in the new year. I've also had another idea for a custom mission...

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Non-Cornish Cornish Pasty Lemon Mince Pie

Special #MincePieFest2024 special feature special day four! I've had the lemon flavour before and it's been a firm favourite, but how will it fare in 2024?

Alas, there's only a dash of lemon curd in this one, so it's basically just the normal one with a hint of lemon. So still very good, but not as lemony as I'd like.

But at least there are no huge chunks of cherry. 3.5 out of 5. #MincePieADay

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Non-Cornish Cornish Pasty Custard Mince Pie

Non-Cornish Cornish mince pie #3! Custard!

The custard had set so I bunged this one in the meecrowavey to get the molecules a-jiggling. The result was absolutely gorgeous (but I am a bit of a custard fan) so much so that I was about to waive the usual -1 penalty for being a £4 pie, but then I remembered that getting some fancy mince pies and some custard would still be cheaper. So 4 out of 5 it is. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Non-Cornish Cornish Pasty Chocolate Mince Pie

Non-Cornish Cornish Pasty mince pie day two! Chocolate today.

The pastry is really quite nice, with a similar texture to yesterday's, and a good chocolatey flavour. No discernable cherries in the filling mix, but there was a little nugget of pure chocolate -- or maybe a big chocolate chip -- that I assume was put there on purpose, but was a nice surprise either way. -1 for the price, obviously, but otherwise 4 out of 5. With an asterisk, because the chocolate is... untraditional. #MincePieFest2024 #MincePieADay

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Non-Cornish Cornish Pasty Traditional Mince Pie

Special #MincePieFest2024 special feature special! The first of four mince pies from Brighton's non-Cornish Cornish Pasty Shop.

I honestly, genuinely, only went in for one.

First, the traditional mince pie, which somehow exploded in transit.

This has a lovely chunky pastry with a nice, almost digestive biscuit, texture, and a generous dollop of filling that probably would be quite tasty, were it not for the over-abundance of cherries.

(I don't like cherries.)

-1 for the cherries, and -1 for the price (£4 each! I'll just put this link here for no reason at all: https://ko-fi.com/thekelvingreen) for a decent 3 out of 5. #MincePieADay

It's Over Nine Thousand

All of the Marvels, by Douglas Wolk, isn't really about one man's experience of reading 27,000 Marvel comics, although it touches on that. It's not a history of Marvel, although it touches on that. It's not a summary of the Marvel Universe story so far, although the final chapter skims through that.

Instead, this is Douglas Wolk, after reading 27,000 Marvel comics, picking out his favourite bits, and that makes for a compelling book, although it's not exactly how the book is marketed.

But it is interesting how, in all of those thousands of stories, Master of Kung Fu stands out as problematic as heck but also really, really good, or how the Dark Reign crossover turns out to be more clever and insightful than it appears, or how Jack Kirby was a genius but his Black Panther run was (probably) terrible.

I like that personal, my-favourite-bits, approach, and while a couple of chapters feel a bit perfunctory, I could quite happily have read another 15 chapters of this.

(Or maybe another 15 chapters by someone else. It would be lovely -- if impractical -- to get other people to read 27,000 Marvel comics and present their own favourite parts, just for a variety of voices. I'd love to read sequels to this by other authors.)

There are some disappointments -- there's an early interesting Grant Morrison-esque thought about the Marvel Universe being a unique fictional construct but it doesn't go anywhere; the Black Panther chapter doesn't quite grasp the importance of what Don McGregor was doing -- and perhaps overall the book is a bit fluffy, but it's always entertaining, and well worth reading for the parts in which Wolk pulls out a surprise favourite, or delves a bit deeper into a subject, or both.

Mince Pie Fest 2024: The Results!

I'm certain I will be consuming more mince pies and mince pie related items in the coming days and weeks, but the testing is over.

THE BEST NATIONALLY AVAILABLE MINCE PIE OF 2024

COOP Irresistible, although it was a close thing this year. These taste fancier and more expensive than they are. Very good. Well done, COOP.

THE BEST "CHEAP" MINCE PIE

Holly Lane, from Aldi. Simple but tasty. The filling is the star here, and the price is good.

THE BEST NON-BOOZY MINCE PIE

Also Holly Lane!

PALM OIL?

Quite a few of this year's mince pies do not have palm oil listed in the ingredients. From best to worst score, they are: Iceland Luxury (4), Infinity Foods (4), Tesco Merry (4), Waitrose Un-Numbered (4), Morrisons The Best (4), M&S Collection (3), Lidl Deluxe (2), M&S Classic (1).

(I am told that COOP uses "sustainable" palm oil, but there is some debate over whether there is such a thing.)

So there you have it! As I noted above, my mince pie journey is not yet over, but those are my recommendations for 2024. Enjoy!

#MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

All Drummers Great and Small

BBC Four started a repeat run of The Box of Delights yesterday. I have fond but vague memories of the programme from its first broadcast -- 40 years ago! -- and I was excited to see it again. I'll maybe talk about it another time, as it ticks a lot of boxes for me: ancient British magic, mischievous hobo-wizards, time travel, snow and winter, wolves! It has some thematic crossover with Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising, another childhood favourite that I should revisit at some point.

The real point of this post is what came after. BBC Four followed up with a 1978 episode of All Creatures Great and Small, and I hadn't seen that in years either so I left it on to see what it was like with adult eyes, and... it's really strange. If you haven't seen it, it's a gentle comedy-drama about a veterinary practice in rural Yorkshire in the 1930s, which is already quite niche for a prime-time show, but -- and I assume this is because it's the BBC and the BBC's public service remit means there has to be at least a token attempt at education -- it's also full of graphic on-camera medical procedures. Imagine tuning in on a Sunday evening, perhaps after your Sunday roast, and then watching Doctor Who trying to remember his lines while up to the shoulder -- and this is the actor, mind you, not a double -- in a cow's backside.

Still, it was massively popular, got millions of viewers, and seemed to run for years -- although now that I look it up, it had two three-year runs separated by a decade -- but what I want to talk about is the theme music. I had a memory of a gentle but jolly piano theme in keeping with the Sunday night broadcast. and that's sort of what it is, but what surprised me last night was how hard the drummer goes:



Alas the theme is only about a minute long; the drummer was just getting going!

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Greggs

The Greggs vegan sausage roll is rightly famous, but are the mince pies any good?

The pastry looks a bit anaemic, and so it proves in terms of taste, with a decent texture but a flavour best described as blaaaaaaaaand. The filling has some nice flavour, although nothing stands out, and as you can probably see, it's a bit stingy. There's something a bit sad about these pies. The sausage rolls are much better. 2 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Infinity Foods

No picture of the box, as they are bakery fresh, so here's a picture of the shop, which is sort of a big brick and concrete box, if you think about it.

The pastry is firm, and so thick it would stop the assembled hordes of Genghis Khan, but it has a pleasant crumble and a nice sweetness.

The filling is thick and rich, and there is plenty of it. It has a nice savoury, almost sour edge that is a perfect balance for the sweetness. There's no hint of booze, but I don't think the pie needs it.

The only downside to these lovely mince pies is the price. £2.10 each or £5.75 for three is a bit steep. They are good, but I'm not sure they are £2.10 good. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Iceland Luxury

The last of the supermarket chain pies, these are apparently "improved". Let's see.

The pastry has a good, firm texture, and a slightly salty taste. I'm generally not a big fan of salty flavours, but I have to say that it's not too bad here. The filling has a lovely strong citrus flavour, but it totally obliterates any other tastes, which is a bit of a shame. Still, a good effort from Iceland (not the country) and indeed an improvement on 2023's version. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Jack's

DID YOU THINK IT WAS OVER?

It's not over!

We found these in a corner shop, but most corner shops are part of a chain these days, and this chain is basically Tesco-in-Disguise, so you should be able to find these across the UK. But would you want to? Read on, MacDuff.

The texture of the pastry is all wrong. It's too thin, too crispy, and too sweet, buuuuuuuut it tastes quite nice, like a (very) sweet biscuit. The flavour does rather overpower the filling, about which I can say nothing because I couldn't taste it at all. The only reason I know it exists is because I took a picture.

Not bad, but they don't really taste like mince pies. 2 as mince pies, 3 as a general sweet treat, so let's say 2.5 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

An Overdue Apology

First of all, I am not being compelled or forced to do this, at least not by any external agent. This is all about acknowledging my mistake.

When the allegations about Mandy and Zak first arose, I very quickly jumped on Google+ and made a vague and non-committal statement along the lines of "I was fooled and I am sorry." I don't remember the exact words, but maybe it's been screenshotted somewhere. That's the gist of it, anyway.

When challenged to specify what I meant, I prevaricated and said something like "I said what I said", and left it at that.

Looking back, I was trying to have it both ways, to signal my expected outrage while avoiding taking a side, at least overtly. More, in truth it was never really about showing support for Mandy, but rather to be seen to be on the "right" side. It was bandwagon-jumping, and I expect better of myself than that.

It was cowardly and wrong.

I always try to be fair and kind in life, and this was neither. And for that, I am sorry.

Mince Pie Fest 2024: The Battle of Fours

Unprecedented!

We have a tie at the top*, which has never happened before.

So, for the first time ever, we enter a SECOND ROUND.

The "finalists": COOP Irresistible, Holly Lane, Tesco Merry, Tesco Finest, and Waitrose Un-Numbered.

Because I love you, my readers, and because I am dedicated to this, my job, I made the difficult decision to try all five of the Fours again, in one tasting session, to decide once and for all.

(If you want to reward me for this terribly onerous task, then my Ko-Fi is still available.)

I took this very seriously and tried each pie, then had a good swig of plain water to cleanse my palate before trying the next. It came down to two front runners, so I tried those two again, which means that I've basically just had an 800+ calorie lunch.

Anyway.

The second-best 4 out of 5 pie is...

Holly Lane! These are still surprisingly good for such a cheap mince pie. Well done, Aldi.

And the best?

COOP Irresistible!

It's still very close, but COOP just edges it this year, and I suspect it will not be beaten, but one never knows for sure... #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

*(There is at least one supermarket mince pie I haven't yet tried, so maybe this will all be irrelevant.)

Mince Pie Fest 2024: COOP Irresistible

Well. Here we go. The champions of 2021.

The champions of 2022.

The champions of 2023.

The champions of 2024?

The pastry strikes the perfect balance between firm and soft, with just the right amount of "chew", but the taste is maybe just a bit too buttery? The filling is lovely. Fruity, dense, and with a hint of booze, but nothing too overpowering. Just enough to feel a bit cheeky.

These are good mince pies. Very very good mince pies. BUT.

(Gasp! Gosh! Etc!)

As good as they are, they are not the clear winners they have been in previous years. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

But what could this mean? Hmm...

Mince Pie Fest 2024: COOP Merry

Merry.

The Tesco ones were called "merry" too. I wonder if that's an established nomenclature and I've just not been paying attention. Imagine the scandal.

Anyway.

The pastry on these is bland, far too soft, and quite claggy. The filling has a nice, juicy flavour but there's not a lot of it. There's nothing really actively bad about these but they are just quite disappointing. 2 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Lidl Deluxe

These chunky pies have a pastry that's a touch too firm for me, tipping over into a biscuity crunch, of which I am not fond. The filling is much better, with a nice fruity taste and a big punch of brandy. Pow! Alas, there's a hint of a bitter, dare I say bilious, aftertaste that does pass very quickly, but is still something of an unpleasant surprise. 2 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Waitrose (Un-Numbered)

The pastry has a bit of a salty taste, and I'm not a fan of salt, but otherwise it has a decent flavour and a good, firm, texture.

The filling is beautiful! While it lacks any sort of booze, and is even quite light on the spices, neither is missed, as there's a lovely variety of different fruit flavours.

You could quibble that with the lack of alcohol and spice maybe these are more of a mixed fruit pie than a mince pie proper, but whatever they are, they are very tasty. Much better than the fancier ones. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

PoP!

I have drawn three pieces today, and this -- with no hint of irony or self-deprecation -- is the best of them all.

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Waitrose No 1

These often get picked as the best supermarket mince pies by the gutter press, so let's see. The pastry has a good texture, firm but also soft, but is maybe a touch too sweet. There's plenty of filling and it's... full of flavour. The only issue, and I don't quite believe I'm going to say this, is that there's too much flavour. The cognac is overpowering to the point of tasting almost toxic, but perhaps I just don't like cognac. Not bad, but not "number one", and not worth £4. 3 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: M&S Collection

I do not like the pastry on these mince pies at all. AT ALL. Crunchy and far too sugary (which doesn't help with the crunch), I suppose at least it's not too dry. But it's not pleasant, either. The filling is much better, with a strong fruity flavour and a good mix of spices, and there is plenty of it. There's just a touch of a bitter aftertaste, but nothing too egregious.

M&S seems to be having a real problem with its pastry this year, and it almost ruins these pies, but the filling is just about good enough to drag them up to a 3 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024