Tuesday, December 02, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Tesco Finest*

Tee. Ee. Ess. Cee. Oh.

(But fancy!)


The pastry has a nice bite, perhaps a teeny tiny touch too soft, but generally good, and with a nice, not too sweet, taste. The chunky filling has a pleasant mix of fruit and spices and a touch of alcohol, but the overall flavour is a bit meek and tentative; I prefer something a bit bolder, with more punch. 3 out of 5. (No palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Monday, December 01, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Tesco

Tee. Ee. Ess. Cee. Oh.


The pastry has a pleasant firmness and, aside from the sugar on top, is not too sweet. It is a bit dry though, and the filling is bland, with some very hard fruit pieces. Watch your teeth! 2 out of 5. (Palm oil)

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Saturday, November 29, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Greggs

They are not a supermarket, but they are a national chain, and I was in there for a vegan sausage roll anyway.


The pastry has a nice crumbly texture, maaaaaaaaybe a bit on the soft side, but the worst failing is that it's oh so terribly bland. The filling, on the other hand, is lovely, with a rich flavour; alas, as you can probably see, there's barely any of it. 2 out of 5. (Palm oil? Not sure...)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Friday, November 28, 2025

Not Bad Four

First Steps is pretty good, better than I was expecting. The retro-future-but-it's-the-present looks amazing and all the performances are good. The film nails the essential likeability of the Four, and it even makes Reed sympathetic while keeping true to the character, although one wonders how much of that is down to Pedro Pascal having charm to spare. Wisely, they skip the origin, Doom is not the villain, and they even give Johnny something "clever" to do while maintaining his position as the silly one.

The final battle against Galactus is a bit of a disappointment as it does come down to a physical fight in the end and that doesn't feel right at all. And while not a short film, it also feels like there's about 30 minutes of missing material; Ben gets a whiff of a subplot that hangs around throughout but never goes anywhere, and the film never really explains what Galactus is and what he wants, or rather the why of it. We do get a spectacular visual Galactus stomping around New York, but as an active agent in the story he's barely more present than the killer cloud of the 2007 film.

All that said, the film gets more right than it gets wrong, and I'd be happy to see more of this version of the Four.

Wednesday, November 26, 2025

Don't Lose Your Head(s)

The other day Stuart asked me for some ideas on tracking damage in fights in RuneQuest. Well, I think it might have been OpenQuest rather than RQ proper. Some fantasy variant of Chaosium's d100 system, anyway. Here's what fell out of my brain after about five minutes. Completely untested, as per.

This assumes RQ style damage output and average hit points of about 11 for humanoid enemies.

The basic idea is using coins as markers. At full health the coin will be heads up, but when they take more than 5 points of damage from a single attack, they flip over to tails. If they take another 6+ hit then the coin is removed. Or you could give it to the player that struck the killing blow, as a monetary reward.

The idea is that we're not tracking the exact damage, just if it beats the 6+ threshold.

Here we have the idea illustrated by Shotgun Cultist Guy I Found in a Box, and his shiny friends.
SCGIFB faces four uninjured opponents.
BLAM! BLAM! Two of the opponents have taken 8 and 9 damage, so are flipped over to their tails side.
BLAM! One blast for 4 damage is not enough to take out one of the enemies. BLAM! But the second is for 12 and takes out the second closest opponent, so that coin is removed.

You could use stacks of coins to represent tougher foes with more health, I suppose, but this was designed for tracking low level cannon fodder, a step up from 1HP mooks. I would probably run bigger, tougher, foes as normal. Or maybe not. As I said above, untested.

Give it a try! See what you think!

Sunday, November 23, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Morrisons the Best

These have a lovely filling, all booze and spices, and the pastry has a pleasant, biscuity, crumbly firmness to it. Alas the pastry is a bit too sweet and overwhelms the flavours in the filling. 3 out of 5. (Palm oil)

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Saturday, November 22, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Morrisons


Well.

These have a lovely firm but crumbly pastry and a filling that tastes of... nothing. Not bad, not good, just literally tasteless. I'd give them one point for the pastry but 1 would imply that they're bad. But they're not bad, they just are. ? out of 5. (Palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Friday, November 21, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Lidl Deluxe


Crikey, it looks like a footballer's coffee table.

These have a nice firm pastry and I'm fairly certain there's a good, flavourful filling in there somewhere, but there is so much sugar piled on these that I can only detect the barest hints of festive spices. 3 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Thursday, November 20, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Iceland

These have a firm pastry, just on the right side of the dreaded crispy, a bit sweet for me but not unpleasant. The filling is... unusual. It's lacking in the flavours you'd expect from a mince pie -- there's no spice, and no alcohol -- but instead there's a syrupy richness, verging on umami, that reminds me of, more than anything else, cola. It's weird, but I quite like it. 3 out of 5. (No palm oil)

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Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Favorina (Lidl)

These have a soft pastry, a bit too soft, and a bit sweeter than I like too. The filling has a good initial hit of spicy flavour, but it's alas overwhelmed by that overly sweet pastry. 2.5 out of 5. (Palm oil)

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Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: COOP Irresistible

The winners in 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024. How do they get on in 2025?


These have a gorgeous texture, with a firm bite and a pleasant chewiness. The filling is a warming blend of fruit, spice, and a hint of alcohol. Lots of lovely flavours.

But alas!

The pastry is far too sweet and the sugar overpowers the filling, making the overall taste a bit cakey. Now of course these are a sweet treat, I am under no delusions there, but one of the things I love about mince pies -- and that apparently 87% of the population hates -- is that the sweetness is balanced by the other, almost savoury, flavours, and here the balance is a bit wonky. 4 out of 5. (Palm oil; COOP claims to only use sustainable palm oil, for what it's worth.)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Monday, November 17, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Iceland Luxury

These have a strong, buttery scent that I didn't hate. The pastry is firm but not crunchy and is not too sweet, nor has the bitterness you often get with buttery pies. The filling is full of fruity flavours -- including some unexpected yuzu! -- and a touch of warming booze. I would maybe like a bit more spice in there to give the filling some more depth and punch, but otherwise these are pretty good. 4 out of 5. (No palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Sunday, November 16, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: COOP Merry

These are very sweet! There's a dusting of sugar on the pastry, the (very soft) pastry itself is sweet, and the filling is sweet too. There is a bit of a spicy twist to the filling that I like, but it's not enough to counteract the overpowering sweetness. 2 out of 5, but feel free to add one point if you've got more of a sweet tooth than I do. (Palm oil; COOP claims to only use sustainable palm oil, for what it's worth)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Saturday, November 15, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Sainsbos Taste the Difference

Straight away these make a bad impression with a weird smell, sort of stale and yeasty.


The pastry is pretty bad too. It has far too much sugar and a crispy, crunchy, texture that goes beyond firm (which I like) into nasty (which I don't like). The filling is quite tasty, with strong flavours of fruits and spices, but it's not worth battling past that dodgy pastry, and then the whole thing is topped off with a deeply unsettling bitter aftertaste. Not good at all. 1 out of 5. (No palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Friday, November 14, 2025

Cthulhu Hack: Boston 1973 (part three)

Continued from here.

With Al in hospital recovering from hundreds of spider bites, Eva Angel, Danny's sister and owner of the agency, joined the investigation. The next day the investigators stocked up on cans of kerosene and went back to the Sister of Mercy house to search for survivors and, if necessary, burn the place to the ground. All was quiet and much as they'd left it the day before, except now an unoccupied Boston Police patrol car was parked outside.

They decided to enter via the back garden this time and head upstairs to the unexplored first floor. There they found a series of hospital rooms -- the Sisters were a charitable organisation that as well as helping the needy, provided medical training for young Catholic women -- and in each an exsanguinated corpse. Also on the first floor were the Sisters' rooms, all but two empty; in the first a spider attacked the group and was quickly squashed; in the second the investigators found a lone surviving Sister, driven insane by her experiences. The group tried to talk to the woman, to calm her and perhaps get some insight into what had happened at the house, but their efforts seemed to make the Sister's condition worse, and they were forced to sedate her.

They took the unconscious Sister to Al's car, and returning to the house, gave the ground floor rooms they had already explored a quick check. No further spiders were encountered, but to their surprise the investigators found that all the bodies had been removed!

All, that is, except the cocoon in the chapel. Frank, looking over his broad shoulder for spiders the whole time, cut the cocoon open and found the body of Wesley Brooks, covered in bites and drained of blood.

They could put it off no longer; it was time to enter the cellar where Al had almost met his doom, and face whatever dwelt there. No spiders assaulted them this time but heading further into the cellar they encountered a police officer, stumbling around as if drugged. As the investigators approached, he lurched towards them, arms outstretched, eyes bloodshot, and face all bloated and grey.

And then they saw the spider.

A couple of hairy arachnid legs emerged from the officer's mouth and eight malevolent eyes gleamed within as the creature attempted to grapple with Frank. Bullets seemed to do very little to the thing but fire slowed it down and a gunshot to the back of the head forced the spider to emerge, where it burned in the kerosene-fuelled flames the investigators were splashing about.

Another spider-puppet emerged from the deeper cellars but waited at the edge of the flames, further suggesting that these arachnids were not just simple animals, but the investigators killed this one off too, with the clever and patient application of fire.

Once the flames had died down the group explored further, finding no more hostile entities, but instead a vast web stretched across one cellar wall, with hundreds of tiny spiders crawling and weaving, adding to it as the investigators watched. Worse, the web was a deep, dark red, and pulsed as if it had, um, a pulse. As Frank looked on he was sure he could spy a passage in the wall behind the web but the investigators decided this was horror enough and sprayed the creepy construction with fuel before setting it alight.

The tiny spiders fled into cracks in the wall and floor and the web burned away, leaving -- to Frank's shock -- an unmarked and very solid brick wall...

Finding no other survivors, the investigators retreated, soaking the house in fuel as they went. They stayed just long enough to make sure that the house caught alight and then drove away into the fog to try and forget the terrors they had experienced.


The adventure was "Dance of Death" by JB Hill from Challenge magazine #73, with some of my own additions and modifications, and of course conversion to Cthulhu Hack. I've had the adventure for years and have never had a chance to get it to the table, but with a Halloween gap in our Vaesen campaign and an itch to get one of my unplayed role-playing games to the table, I thought I had a perfect opportunity to give it a try at long last.

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Sainsbos


Exemplars of averageness these. The pastry has a nice bit of crumble and crunch to it, but is also a tiny bit dry and doesn't have much taste. The filling is juicy and fruity, but there's nothing else going on, no hints of booze or spice. These are perfectly decent fruit pies, but there's nothing festive about them. 3 out of 5. (Palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Thursday, November 13, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: Asda Exceptional (Bakery)

Like these ones, but made by hand by real people instead of machines.

Probably.

Ish.


Look at these chunky boys! A full 4cm deep!


These have lovely pastry, a proper pie crust, thick and with a pleasant bite. The filling is gorgeous, full of spices, a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE hit of brandy and port, and then a little citrus kick at the end. It's really very tasty indeed.

Except.


Look at that! You could fly a kite in there.

These are lovely pies, and would probably get a top score, except they are half air. That's very disappointing. 4 out of 5. (No palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay

Wednesday, November 12, 2025

Mince Pie Fest 2025: M&S Classic

These were ruddy awful last year. I was not looking forward to trying them this year.


The pastry is firm, just the right side of "crispy", with a pleasant bite to it. It looks a bit dry, but appearances in this case are deceiving. The filling is fruity and tasty, but uninteresting, lacking any sort of kick. It's not spicy, there's no citrusy zing, and zero detectable boozy flavours. It's decent enough, but quite generic.

These are a huge improvement over last year's version but in truth they are still just average. 3 out of 5. (Palm oil)

#MincePieFest2025 #MincePieADay