The Fundamental Mystery Of Being

I understand the phishing emails, the financial scams from Africa, and the ones with the fake attachments that actually download cyclopean horrors from the planet Yuggoth onto your hard drive, but those spam mails that don't ask you to buy stuff, or download stuff or anything, what are those for?

I mean, are those genuine, albeit completely unwanted, offers? What do the spammers gain from sending me this stuff, when there's no way for me to reply to (or buy stuff off) them? This mystery has been taking up an inordinate amount of my brain's processing time.

Reed Richards is a C**T!

My ground-breaking and controversial article Reed Richards is a C**T! (or, Karmic Imbalance in the Fantastic Four) is now up at SilverBulletComics.

Actually, it's not that ground-breaking or particularly controversial, but I hope it's entertaining at the very least. Let me know what you think.

When I say run...

I don't normally do this kind of thing, but it's Doctor Who, so...



You are the Second Doctor: Affable, impish, and
fond of simple pleasures as well as simple
pranks. Your mischievous exterior camouflages a
powerful mind and a great deal of courage.
Although you care nothing for appearances, you
place a high value on the bonds of true and
lasting friendship.

Which Incarnation of the Doctor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


I suppose that's broadly appropriate.

Funny Comic Panel Of The Week, Part 410

He's not lying either. Tough old bastard. From Hellboy: The Island #1 (2005).

The War

The preliminary strike came without warning, and so subtle was it that even when we woke up the next day to find our lives shattered and changed beyond recognition, no one was really sure what had happened. All we knew was that we had been attacked and that Marathon was now Snickers.

The unknown enemy attacked once more, and Opal Fruits were taken from us forever. By the time of the third assault, and the brave but futile last stand of Oil of Ulay, we knew that it was the Americans that were doing this to us. How could we resist such a powerful enemy?

With the surprise liberation of Coco Pops, the tide turned, and our chiefs began planning a retaliatory strike. A similar attack on the enemy's foodstuffs would be obvious and difficult to pull off, so we looked elsewhere for a suitable target. Then one bright spark remembered that the one thing Americans loved more than their food was their television. With a new focus, plans began to form.

The operation has been so successful that I don't think the Americans have fully realised what's hit them. Their television networks have been dealt a crippling blow, and it's only a matter of time before the whole thing crumbles around their ears. With special operatives Tim Vincent, Vernon Kaye and Johnny Vaughan now in key positions, it looks like the end for American television.

All-New! All-Different!

I've tidied up a bit around here. Nothing major, but a lot of the functions and features I was emulating via half-inched jerry-rigged chunks of code and third-party plugins have since been incorporated into Blogger, so I've rejigged and updated things a bit. One of the casualties has been the comments system, so if you've left a message in the past couple of days, it's gone missing. Sorry.

Funny Comic Panel Of The Week, Part 317

And you thought it was just an amusing one-off. Foolish humans.



Spider-Man and Dan Aykroyd appearing together on Saturday Night Live, from Marvel Team-Up #74(1978). Also appearing are Aykroyd's Ghostbusters co-star Bill Murray and the late John Belushi who, appropriately enough, has a fight with the Silver Samurai.

And I've just noticed while typing this up that I've spelled his name as "Ackroyd" all these years, when in fact it's spelled quite differently. Odd.

And I've also just noticed while typing this up that Aykroyd wore a jacket like that in Ghostbusters. Odder.

Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?

Yeesssssss!

Batman Special Edition

• All-new digital transfer


• Audio Commentary by director Tim Burton


• On the Set With Bob Kane


• Legends of the Dark Knight: The History of Batman - The Batman comic book saga as reinvented and reinterpreted over nearly seven decades


• Shadows of the Bat: The Cinematic Saga of the Dark Knight Parts 1-3




• The Road to Gotham City


• The Gathering Storm


• The Legend Reborn




• Beyond Batman Documentary Gallery




• Visualizing Gotham: The Production Design of Batman


• Building the Batmobile


• Those Wonderful Toys: The Props and Gadgets of Batman


• Designing the Batsuit


• From Jack to the Joker


• Nocturnal Overtures: The Music of Batman




• Music videos by Prince: Batdance, Partyman and Scandalous


• The Heroes and The Villains Profile Galleries


• Batman: The Complete Robin Storyboard Sequence


• Theatrical trailer

No word on the reinstatement of the "is it Halloween?" deleted scene though (it was in the theatrical cut, but was mysteriously absent from all home versions).
This is probably my favourite superhero film (it's in a constant three-way tie with Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2), and one of my favourite films full stop, so it's great to finally see a decent dvd transfer, let alone one bursting with extras. October 18th 2005, for those interested in Christmas present ideas...

Boutros Boutros-Ghali

Meg moved all our furniture a while ago, and it meant that we had to retune the television. One channel that we didn't get when the thing was six feet from where it is now was the local Spanish-language channel. They appear to show three types of programme: soap operas (mostly akin to the glossy American ones), utterly demented entertainment shows (Noel's House Party on LSD), and football. Lots and lots of football. Granted, I don't understand a word of it, and since it's probably the the Mexican League or something, I don't recognise any of the teams or players, but it's free footie on the telly. I don't even get that at home.

There's also this bloke who turns up, apparently randomly, during commercial breaks to presumably report the football results. Again, I don't know if that's actually what he's doing as I can't understand a word of Spanish, but he talks over footage of goal celebrations and the like, so I assume that he's some sort of Central American Des Lynam. He pops up for literally about fifteen seconds, enough to talk over a tiny bit of footage from a game, and then signs off with a military salute. I can't help but think of Chanel 9.

A note for the proper author

You can be as clever and postmodern as you like with the writing; in fact I welcome it. It makes things interesting after all. You can have complex, ambiguous plots and characters. All of these are great. But please, please, try to remember that a story needs a beginning, a middle, and an end. See, if you're being all clever about your writing, but can't actually put a story together, then you're just wanking in print, aren't you?