Mince Pie Fest 2022: Waitrose Essentials

These are part of Waitrose's probably reluctant admission that there are people who are not upper middle class, and may need access to cheaper food. Let us see what our betters have provided for us.

The pastry is so soft the whole pie threatens to disintegrate as it's held, but once it's in the mouth it resolves into a dry, dusty mess that could easily choke the unwary. What little flavour there is, is bitter and salty, evoking the contempt the average Waitrose shopper has for any household with a second hand car or fewer than four bedrooms.

There is a filling, but I couldn't tell you what it tastes like because it tastes of nothing, but that's probably good enough for the likes of us, as we scrabble for scraps and dream of revolution.

2 out of 5.

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