Favorina, or Lidl in Disguise. That's a lot of sugar!
Another too soft pie, with almost a fluffy consistency, and far too sweet. There are plenty of strong flavours in the filling, but they tend towards the tangy citrus, giving the whole pie a bit of a sickly taste. The two combine to make a gummy and stodgy pie. Not great. 2 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
The pastry is very firm, to the point of being crunchy, like a hard biscuit or a dense shortbread. It also has a strong buttery taste -- again like shortbread -- which is not to my liking, but I suspect I may be in the minority there. And to be fair, it does say "all butter" on the box.
You can see how firm it is by the sharp edges on the patterns in the topping. You could have your eye out on those!
On the other hand, the filling is rich and fruity and very tasty. It's a simple mix of flavours for a mince pie towards the luxury end of the spectrum -- there's no booze, and minimum spice -- but it's done well.
I am not at all a fan of the casing on these pies, so they get 3 out of 5 from me, but feel free to slap another point on if you're a shortbread fan. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
I like a soft pastry for my mince pies but this is far too soft, even for me. The pie falls apart as it's being eaten and there's a chalky, powdery texture that is a bit... icky. These are pies that may be better left out for a day or two to go a bit stale and firm up.
Given the dodgy pastry it's a bit of a surprise then that the filling is quite flavourful, although it is a little bitter, and the quantity is on the stingy side.
Not quite so Essential after all. 2 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
Holly Lane! Which doesn't exist, because it's Aldi.
The pastry has a lovely soft crumble with a pleasant sweetness, but is a little undermined by too much crunchy granulated sugar on the top, and a tendency to get a bit claggy. You'll want a cup of tea -- or local alternative -- with this one. The filling is chunky and tasty, full of fruity flavours and a satisfying wave of spice. There are no alcoholic tastes in this pie, but it's no worse off for it.
These are cheap pies -- about 55p per box -- but they punch well above their price point. It's only the slight disappointments of the pastry that let them down. An admirable 3.5 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
If you are unfortunate enough to be in the shattered remains of the UK and you order from the EU shop, you will get free postage up to the 10th of December 2023. That's on all books, I believe, not just my ones. It may even be on t-shirts and other stuff. I have no idea to be honest.
I must admit, I was a bit worried about trying these. They were the clear winners in 2021 and 2022, but everything seems worse this year, and what if my favourites also followed that trend?
Worry not, my mincing mates!
The pastry is a perfect balance between firm and soft, with a nice crumble that stops well short of an unpleasant crunch. It is sweet without being overly sugary, and has a lovely lightness that complements the tasty filling.
There's plenty of that tasty filling, and it is chunky and fruity -- although maaaayyyyyybeeee a little heavy on the electrons currants/raisins/sultanas -- and has a hearty boozy punch, but not an overwhelming one.
What a relief that these remain excellent pies even in this dark time! Only a slight imbalance in the filling prevents a perfect score, but 4.5 out of 5 is not too bad, I think you'll concur.
There are plenty of mince pies still in the testing pile, but if you need to buy some RIGHT NOW -- understandable -- then these are a very strong frontrunner. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
I have the new Epic 2023 box and although I haven't played it yet -- ye gods, teeny tiny multi-part miniatures! How am I supposed to put those together at my age?! -- I have impressions of the first variety.
In terms of rules, it is pretty much second edition Space Marine/Titan Legions, which is good, as Space Marine 2 is the best wargame Games Workshop ever made. Fact.
Titans are simplified. I won't miss the aiming minigame, but the old location-based damage charts were fun. You can't blow their arms or legs off any more. (sad face)
Titans do still have huge reactor meltdowns when they die, and that's ace.
The terrain rules are new and very weird. They are a mixture of excessive detail (every inch of the board is one of about five different terrain types, which you have to track and have their own rules and modifiers) and odd abstractness (you may be able to draw clear and unobstructed line of sight to a model but if it's "within" certain terrain your models can't see it). There's also what looks like an orphaned reference to roads giving a movement boost, but no associated rules, which may be a case of earlydraughtitis, or just ambiguous writing; who knows?
Speaking of inches, everything is measured in them. This will make Jacob Rees-Mogg and the Brexiteers happy, and is better than that strange Pentagon-Circle-Triangle-Square thing GW did in Kill Team, but anything other than centimetres for Epic is abhorrent.
I'm not sure the Space Wombles can legally field all their models in the box, unless I've misunderstood the army building rules, which is very possible.
The rulebook could have been 100 pages thinner with the exact same content, but I think that's a battle we lost a long time ago.
The order counters are terrible. They are thin, cheap, and nasty, with none of the hefty girth of the 2e counters. Expect to see a swathe of variants on Etsy within days.
That all may seem overwhelmingly negative, but the core rules of the game are solid, and the miniatures are great, and I am keen to give it a try... as soon as I get someone younger and more nimble to construct the models. More on that if/when it happens.
OH! And drop pods are rubbish now. Back in the 1990s, you would literally drop the markers on to the table and hope for the best. Now they are relegated to a deployment special rule. Cowards.
It's a big -- 70mm! -- pie with a nice firm bite to the pastry and the filling has a pleasant chunkiness, so it's a pie with presence and heft. The problem is the taste, which is a bit all over the place. The pastry is bland for the most part but also has a hint of bitter saltiness that does nothing for me. The -- slightly miserly -- filling is full of fruity flavours but is perhaps a bit too heavy on the orange, which together with the bitter pastry makes the pie as a whole feel a bit unpleasant.
Not fine. Not fine at all. 2 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
These are T, tasty (ish).
These are E, (not) expensive.
These are S, (on the) small side.
These are C, Christmassy-y.
These are O, ooooooohhhhhh oh.
T.E.S.C.O.!
T.E.S.C.O.!
T.E.S.C.O.!
T.E.S.C.O.!
I like the pastry on these. It's almost savoury, more like what you'd get on a dinner pie, and it's got a nice chunky texture. Which is good, because the pie appears to be about 90% pastry with only a blob of filling somewhere in the middle, after you've dug through several metres of crust.
The filling itself is disappointing. It tastes fine, but there's nowhere near enough of it and rather than actual fruity chunks, it appears to be some sort of spicy jam, like festive baby food.
I'm a bit torn. I quite like these but they are so badly made they almost don't even count as mince pies. I'm going to give them a tentative 3 out of 5 but I'll probably feel bad about it for the rest of the year. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
These came from Iceland -- the shop not the lava-imperilled country -- although you wouldn't know it from the stark Repo Man branding.
These are fairly chunky pies, at a prodigious 66mm across, and are packed with filling; these are not cases of empty air, like some pies I could mention.
The pastry is thin, but has a good firm texture. It lacks flavour but at least it doesn't taste bad. Yay? I suppose? The filling is fruity and has a nice bite to it, but there's a slightly bitter aftertaste that tends towards the unpleasant. Not awful, but "luxury" is talking them up a bit. 2.5 out of 5. #MincePieFest2023 #MincePieADay
