Mince Pie Fest 2024: M&S Collection

I do not like the pastry on these mince pies at all. AT ALL. Crunchy and far too sugary (which doesn't help with the crunch), I suppose at least it's not too dry. But it's not pleasant, either. The filling is much better, with a strong fruity flavour and a good mix of spices, and there is plenty of it. There's just a touch of a bitter aftertaste, but nothing too egregious.

M&S seems to be having a real problem with its pastry this year, and it almost ruins these pies, but the filling is just about good enough to drag them up to a 3 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: M&S Classic

M&S classic.

They look as dry as Jack Dee doing a gig in the Atacama Desert, and the reality is not far off. The pastry feels and tastes like wood and although there's a nice, almost savoury, tinge to the filling, that dissipates very quickly and it's overall quite bland, aside from a lingering sour aftertaste. These mince pies start off disappointing and then they go downhill. 1 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Asda Exceptional

"Exceptional"? That's quite the boast, bold given the last lot.

I love the pastry on these pies; chunky and thick, with a good, wholesome "bite", no unpleasant crunch, and a lovely light sweetness. Alas, the thickness of the crust -- while no doubt useful for stopping bullets -- means there isn't much room left for the filling, which is a shame as it has a bold, boozy flavour that I very much like. If only there was more of it. 3.5 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Asda "Yummy"

Look, mummy, look at all the glittery sugar!

The filling has an almost savoury flavour that is quite interesting, but the taste fades quickly, and alas is steamrollered into oblivion by the FOUR TONNES of sugar on the pastry. It's feasible that there are other flavours in the crust, but my inferior taste buds couldn't detect them under ALL OF THE SUGAR IN THE WORLD.

My teeth still hurt now, hours later. 2 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Tesco Finest

I honestly thought we'd found an early winner.

The pastry has a lovely texture, just the right balance between soft and firm, with a nice crumble and a light, sweet taste. The filling is full of strong fruity flavours, with some pleasant but not overpowering boozy tones. These are really, really good mince pies. The finest?

WELL.

The filling has a weird, bitter aftertaste that hangs around for minutes after the pie is eaten. It's not awful, and doesn't ruin the pies, but it is a tiny bit off-putting. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024


(The aftertaste is still there.)

Jay Arr Pee Gee

I want to love this book. It's very handsome and well designed, and it's (mostly) exhaustive. It is in many ways, lovely.

But.

The lead writer isn't very good. He has an unfortunate tendency towards presenting sweeping, unsupported, statements as fact, and has a lazy approach to research; if it's not part of his direct experience it's going to get dismissed, if it's acknowledged at all. It is very obvious if he hasn't played -- or just isn't interested in -- a game about which he's supposed to be writing, and it's not clear if he's fully aware that Europe exists.

(As this book has a team of writers, this is a trivial issue to resolve: just say "I don't feel like writing about Ax Battler; can someone else do it?" There you go. Wasn't difficult.)

I'm familiar with the writer from his website, and the same problems are apparent there too; if I'd realised he was the head writer for this book, I'm not sure I would have bought it.

The organisation is a bit odd too. It's not clear why games are ordered the way they are, and when other games are mentioned in an entry they are sometimes given a page reference, but most often not. Why? Who knows? If a game has multiple titles -- for example, English and Japanese titles -- they are listed only by one, and again it's not clear why that name is chosen. There is an index, but it's just an alphabetical list; again, if a game has alternate titles, they aren't indexed. Indexes by year and platform would have been useful too.

So it's a beautiful book, and there are plenty of surprises even for the most enthusiastic JRPG fan, but I would be very wary of treating it as any sort of authoritative, let alone scholarly, text. Ignore the title; it's not a "guide", it's more of an overview, albeit a fun and (very) pretty one.

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Tesco Merry

The pastry is firmish, but not unpleasantly so, and isn't as sweet as that highly visible sugar suggests. Meanwhile, the filling hits you round the chops with a big old knockout punch of fruity, tangy flavour and doesn't let go. Tasty! Another good, cheapish (£1.25) pie. Merry indeed. 4 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: The Bastard Kipling

I won't mince words (ha ha), these are bland, as the kids say, AF.

The pastry has a decent texture, maybe a touch too soft, but is dry and claggy, like a mouthful of dust. The filling is so lacking in flavour I had to double check that it was even there. 1.5 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: The Bastard Kipling Signature Collection

Ooh fancy! I've not seen these before.

These have a good texture, firm with a bit of crumble, but the pastry doesn't have much flavour. The filling is juicy and rich, but it lacks the sort of pizzazz you'd expect from a fancy range. It's a nice, fruity filling, but it feels like there should be something else.

Perhaps I'm being a bit tough, but these are being presented as luxury, "special", pies, and yet there's nothing really special about them at all. Nothing to justify the price -- £2.50 for four -- anyway.

3 out of 5. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024

Mince Pie Fest 2024: Morrisons The Best

The Best? I'll be the judge of that.

(I think I probably make the same joke every year.)

(I'm not sure what's happening in that last photo. Possibly some sort of supernatural incursion.)

These have a firm and thick pastry, an almost biscuity texture, and flavour much like shortbread. I'm not a huge fan of shortbread, and it's also a bit dry.

There's not a lot of filling, but what there is behind the -- estimated -- two metres of pastry has a pleasant, tangy flavour. It's tasty and I'd like more of it.

3 out of 5, but I don't really like shortbread. #MincePieADay #MincePieFest2024